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I really need to have my entourage arrange a meeting with Scarlett Johansson, because my crush on her is just about out of control. I’m actually a little surprised she hasn’t made the first move, because I’ve been downloading as much porn as I can and then masturbating, but, it turns out, that’s not as enticing to the ladies as you might think. I don’t know if she’s just stuck up or what, but…
Wait, what? Oh, yeah, I guess I need to make this newsworthy, so I’ll just mention that she signed on to star in Mission Impossible 3 and then post some pictures.
