Photo: arinahabich, Getty Images.
Election Day is almost upon us. Regardless of which candidate you’re voting for, we’ll all be stress-eating as we wait for the results to come in. We searched high and low for the best red, white, and blue food inspo for an all-American Election Day spread…because the most important party is the one you throw, not the one you align with!
Freedom Blend M&Ms
Photo: mymms.com.
Not only do M&Ms come in red, white, and blue hues, the company has a branded Freedom Blend that features images of flags, eagle heads, and fireworks printed on one side. Package sizes range from tiny party packs to 5-pound bulk bags. (The choice here is clear, no?) If being an American means the freedom to shovel chocolate candies into our mouths, then, yes, you should be proud to be an American.
Candidate Cookies
Photo: @food52 on Instagram.
At this point in the election cycle, you could probably bite someone’s head off. The humane way to do so is by finding Clinton and Trump cookies at a politically-inclined bakery by searching #electioncookies on Instagram. No bakery near you? DIY with Food 52‘s clever cookie cutter set that includes shapes of Hillary, the Donald, a donkey, an elephant, a map of the U.S.A., and a flag. Decorate as hideously as you desire.
Also: Supreme Meme | The Best Of ‘Bernie vs Hillary’
Flag Cake
Photo: @harryanddavid on Instagram.
Of course you need a flag cake. And, no, you don’t have to bake it. Gourmet gift purveyor Harry & David has you covered with its triple layer, strawberry and blueberry filled, totally shippable pastry priced at a reasonable $49.99.
Anything with Berries
Photo: @paulas_plate on Instagram.
Nature already has the red, white, and blue combo taken care of, so let’s not complicate things. Strawberries, blueberries, and the white food of your choice (whipped cream, cream cheese, ricotta, yogurt, frosting, pound cake) give you as many recipe variations as there were Republicans vying for that party’s nomination at the beginning of this insane race. At least these you can endorse guilt-free.
Rice Krispies Treats
Photo: @familyjules on Instagram.
For those who like to chew the election-related tension away, there are Rice Krispies treats. As you’re shopping for the ingredients for these easy-to-prepare dessert bars, toss a couple bottles of food coloring and some patriotic sprinkles into your basket (nothing “deplorable” about it). How crazy you want to get with the design is up to you; follow a basic tutorial on YouTube or get fancy with this star-shaped on-a-stick variation or make your own mini-flags. If you can’t decide which way to go, take a vote.
Patriotic Popcorn
Photo: King of Pop on Facebook.
You could go to the trouble of popping and dyeing your own popcorn, but since this entire election cycle has been about choosing the lesser evil, we say click it and forget it. Online popcorn vendor King of Pop hawks a patriotic blend of kettle corn, blueberry popcorn, and cherry popcorn. We’re unsure if those are the ideal popcorn flavors, but they should leave less of a bitter taste in your mouth than the candidates’ campaigns. A 3.5 gallon tin ($49.99) should last you until the next president is named.
Red, White, and Blue Nachos
Photo: @felterrific on Instagram.
It would be nice if you could find a bag of tri-color chips come Election Day, but it’s unlikely. Blue corn tortilla chips are easy to track down any time of the year. Red ones, not so much, but perhaps by Nov. 8 grocery stores will have their holiday food in stock and you can improvise. Baring that, meet your color requirements by coating blue chips with a thick layer of your choice of white cheese, nuke, and top with salsa. It’s faster and easier than registering to vote.
A Big-Ass Bowl of Cheetos
Photo: @dadryp on Instagram.
If you don’t get the joke, you haven’t been paying attention and should not be eligible to vote. If you must make it fair, add some white cheddar Simply Cheetos Puffs to the bowl to represent that blonde “nasty” woman.
Flagged Food
Photo: Greg Vote, Getty Images.
When in doubt about what constitutes election party-eligible food, just do what our forefathers did: stick a flag in it and declare it American.
