Photo: YouTube
They say breakfast is the most important meal of the day. And as many of us busy, late-for-work dudes tend to do in the glaring haze of the morning rush, we reach for a box of cereal as our go-to breakfast option because it’s quick, easy, and, all things considered, tastes pretty damn decent considering the minimal effort it takes to put together.
I mean, sure, we might prefer a nice, warm breakfast with buttered toast and fried eggs, but that shit isn’t realistic; we’ve got places to be. So instead we grab a brightly colored box of sugary cereal (cheers to the mascot ), pour it into a bowl and top that baby off with a healthy portion of milk, because deep down, we all know the milk at the bottom of the bowl is the best part of this simple breakfast.
Since we can all agree on this (right?), I decided to review and rank the best of the best cereal milks. This is a task I haven’t taken lightly, dudes, so if your favorite cereal ranks at the bottom of the list or isn’t on it at all (I’m looking at you, Shredded Wheat, you sad, soggy excuse for breakfast food), I apologize. So, without further adieu, here you have it, folks: the best cereal milks to have ever hit your bowl, ranked.
The Best Cereal Milks, Ranked
Best Cereal Milks, Ranked
10. Lucky Charms
At the top of the list we’ve got Lucky Charms because, as we all know, it’s tedious AF picking at all those shitty, still-not-even-good-for-you bits of grainy cereal so that we can save those delicious, crunchy marshmallows for the climactic end. Even then, though, you still only get a few measly spoon fulls of marshmallow, and the milk at the end is only minimally sweet. You know what that means: MORE. F*CKING. MARSHMALLOWS!
Photo: Jenniveve84 (Getty)
9. Honey Nut Cheerios
I might be the only person on Earth who hates Honey Nut Cheerios. And for that reason, it ranks lower on the list. Like the cereal, the milk at the end of a bowl isn’t nearly sweet enough. I mean, if I’m going to pour myself a bowl of cereal, I want it to taste as sweet as a cereal and its leftover milk possibly can.
Cheerios are basically Shredded Wheat, but with a cartoonish mascot who insists the cereal is sweet and tastes good. But I ain’t buying it.
Photo: Rena Marie (Getty)
8. Cap’n Crunch
Now onto my favorite cereal. Now I don’t know how, but Cap’n Crunch masterfully absorbs milk in each of its bright yellow, cut-the-roof-of-your-mouth morsels and leaves behind a sweet milk that tastes just as good, if not better, than the actual cereal.
I personally use vanilla almond milk when I have Cap’n Crunch and suggest you do, too. It’s da bomb. But since Cap’n Crunch doesn’t really have a universally recognized flavor like some of the cereal milks higher on the list, it only makes it to #8. Still VERY good, though.
Photo: YouTube
7. Corn Pops
The leftover milk is a sweeter version of Cap’n Crunch’s. A sweetness that is very much appreciated. But the cereal is lackluster.
Photo: Flickr
6. Frosted Flakes
Corn Flakes have always required more sugar (unless you’re in your 60s) and Frosted Flakes was Kellogs’ diabetic answer. An answer that causes all of us to delicately pour our milk and eat the cereal as fast as we possibly can because the milk quickly rids each flake of its frosted sweetness in no time.
Because of this sugar shower, we get that sweet and delicious milk at the end. What you have to do when you begin pouring the milk is decide which you want sweeter: the milk or the cereal.
Photo: Chic Deals
5. Reese’s Puffs
Peanut butter and chocolate. There is no better combination on earth, is there? Maybe beer and chicken wings, but that shit’s savory. I honestly don’t think there’s anything else that needs to be said here. We can all agree on this, no?
Photo: YouTube
4. Fruit Loops
In terms of fruity cereal, Fruit Loops is one of the better options, but not the best in terms of its milk. While the milk is sweet, I still feel as though it could be sweeter. You’ve got to give additional points for the confetti-like crumbs the cereal leaves behind, though. It’s like a birthday party in a bowl.
Photo: Wikimedia Commons
3. Fruity Pebbles
The cereal itself gets soggy way too quickly, and the required action of scraping the sides of the bowl for leftover pebbles is infuriating, but this article is all about the milk, and Fruity Pebbles’ milk is one of the best.
The milk is sweet and fruity in the best, most complimentary way, and the tiny, colorful flakes provides a bluish tinge to the milk, which, for some reason, makes the milk seem even tastier.
Photo: Ketopia
2. Cinnamon Toast Crunch
I feel like the milk from Cinnamon Toast Crunch should be a flavor in itself. It’s got a cinnamon taste, yes, but one that isn’t too strong, and one that’s married with the sweetness of the sugar and the neutrality of the milk. It’s a polygamist marriage that works oh so well.
Photo: Tumblr
1. Cocoa Puffs
Yes, it’s chocolate milk at the end of the day, but it seems all the more magical that you did it yourself without syrup. As a kid, I loved this shit, and would buy Cocoa Puffs, Nesquik, Count Chocula, Cocoa Krispies, etc., all for the milk, even if the toy that came in the box was complete garbage.
Photo: Wikimedia Commons