Photo: Jamie Grill (Getty Images)
Hook up apps are all fun and games until your date arrives 60 lbs heavier than her profile photo suggested or someone starts catching feelings and being clingy. Sometimes, you’ve been having too much fun to notice that your casual fling is showing more and more signs of an actual, real relationship. Yuck. That can be really nerve-racking when you want your only touch with relationship to be memes about dating.
So whether your hook up partner has become too much of a nag, wants you to meet her parents, or you’ve seen wedding dresses websites in her internet history, these tips will help you escape a too serious hook up.
Honesty
Some of the guys didn’t even consider this possibility before turning to the internet to find a solution for their hook up problems. But not only can honestly help you not feel like a sleaze for using hook up apps, it can also liberate you in a sense of escaping a hook up. So either by text or even better to the face, tell the person you’re seeing what you want. “It has become too real for me” can be a good template to explain your feelings to a girl. There is nothing wrong with stating that something is not working for you, and if you didn’t hook up with a total psycho it shouldn’t be a huge problem.
Being honest can also help you stay in a good relationship with the person, which is nice by itself, but can also be useful when you or her need a booty call.
Hints
If you’re too big of a chicken to confront someone with displeasing news, you could do your best to send them signs you’re no longer interested in the hook up. Responding to their texts late, flaking on made plans, coming up with various excuses as to why you can’t see them are all on the menu of a modern human. Don’t like their social media posts, maybe post a picture of you with another girl on your profiles, these all send clear messages. That should make the girl come to the conclusion and back off from you
Ghosting
If you’re the worst type of a person or if the girl isn’t picking up on hints, you can do the Millenials’ special and ghost on the person. Ghosting is the act of completely ignoring a person’s texts or calls, which will give them the clear picture at least after a few tries. Of course, some people need more convincing than others. It’s also acceptable to use ghosting if you went with the honest approach but she won’t back down on your hook up/relationship. Ghosting isn’t nice, nobody likes to be on the receiving end of it, but sometimes it’s necessary.
Restate Terms
Just because a hook up became too serious doesn’t mean that you have to end it, it can still be fixed. Meet up with your hook up as this type of negotiating needs to be done in person as texts can convey the tone, which is of paramount importance. Firstly, you should make sure that you don’t blame the girl for the serious status of the relationship, so use “we” instead. Like “I think we somehow got too close to relationship waters, and neither of us wants that. These things can happen by gravity, but we should get back to being more casual”. Perhaps ask her if she has some ideas on how to make sure that your thing becomes casual and then list your own like “no cute nicknames, no meeting of each other’s friends, and definitely no meetings of any relatives”. Unless she was aiming for the relationship, she couldn’t be mad at that.
Do you know any other ways of escaping a hook up when it becomes too serious?
