If you’re a man, you’re likely going to pay on dates. Maybe not emotionally or by being subservient to your partner, but you will pay cash money thanks to the standards set by society. Even if you don’t expect to pick up the entire bill, you’re going to end up doling out the hard-earned cash you make, just to impress someone you hope to go home with. But why should you pay? And more importantly, when should you pay? Worry not, for we’re breaking down how to handle the bill during the first 1o dates…or until they refuse to see you anymore.
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Well, moneybags, what’s your method for handling the bill when you date someone new? Let us know in the comments!
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How To Handle The Bill
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Date 1
What you consider the first date is really an audition to see if you want to pay. If you insist on calling it a date, and you did the inviting on said date, you're also paying for said date. Even if your date looks like a foot.
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Date 2
If they like you, they will at least offer to pay. And you can get away with letting them pay if you say something cheeky like, "I can't wait to get you back for this." And if you don't like them, you can disappear forever and get them back for nothing.
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Date 3
Dating is expensive, but you said you would pay. So scrounge up enough change that you don't look pathetic trying to cover the bill and tip.
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Date 4
You're back for more, eh? Just hand them your money.
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Date 5
They finally invite you on a date. Let them pay. It's their date.
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Date 6
Paying for sex would honestly be more affordable in terms of time and money at this point. But, whatever, you like a person and they like you back!
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Date 7
By this point, you should be engaging with your potential partner emotionally. Bring up that you think capitalism sucks because it puts a ticket price on everything, even love. Or simply just keep paying for everything.
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Date 8
What even is love but a chance to try and split the bill with someone who still expects you to pay?
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Date 9
They invite. You ask suggest splitting the bill and they agree. This is the point where you shift into third gear and keep this dialogue going on further excursions.
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Date 10
You bring up splitting the bill again. They look at you with big eyes and you realize that you're nothing more than a human ATM to them. Welcome to modern dating.
