Some people might find it hard to feel bad for Michael Bay, one of the most financially successful directors in Hollywood, and a famously prickly presence on his set. His Transformers co-star Megan Fox went so far as to compare him to Adolf Hitler in 2009, although they apparently patched things up afterwards, so that she could co-star in the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles reboot that Bay produced five years later.
Still, the news that Michael Bay is officially directing his fifth Transformers movie is so depressing that I almost couldn’t even write about it. Here is a successful and popular filmmaker who has paid his dues and then some, and he can’t escape making $200 million toy commercials no matter how hard he tries.
And he really does try. He took a break to direct the lower budgeted, violent, barely marketable crime comedy Pain & Gain in 2013, only to get sucked right back into directing Transformers: Age of Extinction one year later. This month he’s taking his lucrative jingoism into serious dramatic territory with 13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi. Few expect this new film to be a serious Oscar contender (it’s coming out in January, after all), but catering to the passionate American Sniper and Lone Survivor crowd does appear on the surface to at least be a cry for acceptance.
Paramount Pictures
Related: Why Transformers Isn’t ‘Just a Movie’
In a new profile in Rolling Stone, Michael Bay doesn’t just confirm that he’s directing the next Transformers, he can’t even keep the number straight. To quote the article: “‘I’m doing Transformers … 5, is it?’ Bay says, temporarily losing track. He shakes his head. ‘I’ve taken on a lot of work.'”
You sure have, Michael Bay.
I may not like a lot of his films, but I’m going to give him a pass on this one. If he’s reading this article, I want him to know that it’s okay to stop making Transformers movies.
It’s been argued that Michael Bay’s movies keep a lot of craftspeople employed, and that’s true. It takes an ungodly number of people to make a Transformers sequel. And it will take that same number of people whether or not Michael Bay himself actually directs it. The Transformers franchise is one of the most financially successful in box office history. Paramount has plans to diversify it into sequels and spin-offs galore. If Bay left they would just get somebody else to make it, and all of those people would still be employed.
Paramount Pictures
What’s more, if Bay left he would probably go on to make more big budget movies, because that’s kind of his thing. That means all of the Transformers craftspeople would still be employed, and so would a lot of other craftspeople who otherwise might not have been, because another Michael Bay-sized production was also going in front of the cameras. If you think about it, it’s a lot more benevolent of Michael Bay to cut his losses with these giant robots and do just about anything else.
As for whether the quality of the Tranformers movies would be affected… really? That can’t possibly be an issue. The worst Transformers movie – and take your pick, it’s all subjective and there’s an argument to be made for each of them – was still a blockbuster by any standard that led to more sequels. Few films have weathered serious artistic criticism more easily than the Transformers movies. There are those who even consider it a badge of honor to like these films while cinema snobs scoff in their direction.
Paramount Pictures
Besides, it’s entirely possible that a filmmaker with something to prove – as opposed to a filmmaker who has done this four times already and is eager to leave – might actually bring something new and exciting to the Transformers franchise. Maybe the story would be more comprehensible. Maybe the robot designs would be easier to look at. Maybe the awkward mix of wacky Coen Bros. humor and musclebound chutzpah would finally settle into a single, distinctive tone that actually makes a lick of sense for a movie about robot wars.
Bay claims, in that same Rolling Stone profile, that “J.J. [Abrams] told me, ‘You’re the only guy that could do this.’ But it’s time to move on. One more.” Assuming the quotation is accurate, that’s also pretty depressing because it either means that J.J. Abrams is trying to keep Michael Bay in his place (since “you’re the only guy who can make Transformers movies” isn’t exactly the highest form of praise), or Bay is actually convinced that this franchise would fall apart without him. If that’s the case he must be feeling pretty trapped right now, which is an ironic state of mind considering he’s one of the most powerful and successful entertainers on the planet.
“Transformers, I still have a great time,“ Michael Bay tells Rolling Stone in that profile. “It’s fun to do a movie that 100 million people will see. But this is the last one. I have to pass the reins to someone else.”
You sure do, Michael Bay. For your own sake. You can start now. No one would blame you.
Top Photo: Paramount Pictures
William Bibbiani (everyone calls him ‘Bibbs’) is Crave’s film content editor and critic. You can hear him every week on The B-Movies Podcast and watch him on the weekly YouTube series Most Craved and What the Flick. Follow his rantings on Twitter at @WilliamBibbiani.
