In The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug (out on Blu-ray this week), intrepid Shire-dweller Bilbo Baggins and his band of Dwarf compatriots learn that getting from Point A to Point B in Middle Earth involves a treacherous gauntlet of things that exist solely to kill you. Here’s a rundown of every drooling creature, vengeance-obsessed thug, and greed-sickened dragon that threatens to cut this hiking excursion painfully short.
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Life is short, so get out there.
Watch on the toilet if possible.
Party on.
100 percent accurate.
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