There are plenty of fake holidays shoved down our throats by card companies (here’s looking at YOU, “Mother’s Day”) and television alike (though we do count down the days to the annual “Airing of Grievances” each Festivus), but there are a few faux celebrations we actually wish were for real. Here’s our faves. Happy Scotchtoberfest!
You know what’s positively un-American? The fact that the day after our entire nation bonds over a love of sports, consumerism, seven-layer dip and general overconsumption (mostly of television and said dip), we’re expected to be bright-eyed and productive at the office. The hell? Where is the “Black Friday” of Super Bowl Sunday?
You’re never too old for Mr. Krabs (from “SpongeBob SquarePants,” not from OneNight StandPants), who declared March 8 “Free Day,” a day when all products are free — and the only day of the year we like to go shopping.
In the concrete jungle where dreams are made of there’s nothin’ you can’t do every other Friday during summer. That is, of course, if you work in certain industries like media or advertising or in any office that features a ping pong table. And the trend has caught on … but not everywhere. So you will most likely be chained to your desk, as per usual, at least five hours after your Instagram feed’s full of friends at the beach, BBQing out back or at home having avoided typical traffic.
Similar to Christmas, but way more fun for myriad reasons. This in-game “World of Warcraft” holiday celebrates the best of the real winter holidays (with snowball fights and overeating), but encourages the kissing of elf babies and the receiving of gifts like magical battle axes that shoot lighting (be extra careful, Ralphie).
