I have been proud of a lot of things in my life, one of those being the fact that I have never seen one single episode of The Jersey Shore. The other being my G.I. Joe collection, but more to the point, would anybody seriously fuck this Snooki chick if it wasn’t for some type hostage negotiation? Even if it was, I’d let them use my anytime minutes to say goodbye to their families, because the only way I could get hard looking at this is if she had snakes for hair. Christ, this skank is gross. She looks like something Brad and Angelina would bring back from Oz.
Fred Topel reviews Dear White People, Difret, The Disobedient and Fishing Without Nets at Sundance 2014.