9. Leave the kid at home!
You may think it’s cool to bring your 3 month old infant along for the experience, but to everyone else you’re a buzzkill and a bad parent. The kid isn’t going to remember it, there’s a damn good chance you’re going to mess up their hearing, and you won’t be the only one catching that contact high. Think this one through and get a babysitter, rather than making yourself a poster-boy for CPS home invitations.
10. Toilet paper
The true mark of a civilized society isn’t the written word, or fair and just laws – it’s toilet paper. Are you really going to rely on the porta-potties being stocked all day, with 80,000 people eating the same terrible festival food as you and swarming to the same cramped plastic bathrooms? Don’t make that late-night shuffle to the john an unforgettable one for all the wrong reasons.
11. Flashlights
Your silly glowsticks and iPhone flashlight apps aren’t going to suffice. Throw down a few bones for a couple mini maglites or the equivalent, or splurge and pick up a battery-powered lantern for $20. The key here is comfort – when you can’t see a damn thing inside your tent, tempers are going to flare. And let’s not even talk about watching for poison ivy. Speaking of which…
12. Tecnu
If you’re not generally the outdoorsy type, you’ve likely never heard of it – but this could save your weekend. Tecnu was originally intended to wash radioactive dust off a person’s skin, but it’s more practically used to eliminate the oil from poison ivy, poison oak and poison sumac. In other words, keep it on hand when you’re stomping through the thicker green out there and avoid a miserable tangle with Mother Nature’s tentacles.
13. BYO Food
You can go the grill route (they let you bring in 5-gallon propane tanks), or you can go the retail route, but if you want to keep it cheap and easy pack as much healthy food as you can ahead of time. Apples, granola bars, trail mix, beef jerky, peanut butter, salami, cheese, crackers, etc. Bring enough to share, and make some friends at meal time. The more ambitious your menu, the more complicated your preparation necessities.
14. Earplugs
Regardless of how hardcore you think your eardrums are for the musical mischief, the campground is always hustling and bustling. Drunkards, partiers, drama queens and night-owls are going to keep the decibels at a level that can be outright hostile to sleep. So plan accordingly, and find something to stuff in your ears so you aren’t a hulking murderous rager at 3am. The couple fighting endlessly in the tent next to yours does not care about your beauty sleep.
15. Dry Ice
A bit tricky to find depending on your location, but dry ice can make all the difference in maintaining the coolness of your cooler, far beyond regular ice. Buy a few pounds to last you a few days, and you’ll be able to bring perishable foods for the trip (burgers, eggs, etc) and be a full baller with cold water all weekend long.
16. Water
Just like we promised, water ties up the list. It’s the most important part of your weekend – without it, well… you can see for yourself above.
