Last weekend I was carrying a cup of tea upstairs when one of my dogs attempted to get ahead of me by running between my legs. He inelegantly failed to do so, and instead managed to clip my heels and sent me hurtling forwards, the cup of tea spilling all over the steps in front of me and leaving a particularly nasty stain on my sweatshirt. Fortunately for me, there were not thousands of people watching me from inside my own home, and the incident wasn’t being broadcast on TV, but nonetheless I completely sympathise with Madonna.
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Madonna fell over whilst performing onstage at the BRIT Awards 2015 last night. Humans fall over sometimes. We lose our balance, we trip, we’re pushed – all of these can be contributing factors to us failing to stand on our own two legs. Madonna was just one of many people who, for a moment in time, found herself unable to stand upright.
Of course, not many people are brought down in the same circumstances that saw Madonna unceremoniously tumble to the ground. For instance, she was wearing a cape – not a lot of people wear capes, unless they’re getting coffee in Shoreditch. She was also surrounded by half-naked men pretending to be bulls, which isn’t a common occurrence, either. Perhaps this is why so many are taken aback by her falling over? Is this why we cannot seem to get our hands around an individual unsuccessfully co-coordinating her feet in a manner which would have allowed her to maintain her balance?
The Madonna Fall, potentially the most exciting thing to happen to the BRIT Awards since Geri Halliwell’s tit almost popped out that one year, took a hold of our collective imagination almost immediately. We laughed (oh how we laughed!) but then expressed an admiration for her and her ability to fall down, then stand up and continue with her job. Unlike most people who fall over she didn’t simply lay there for the rest of eternity – no, she stood up. It was a miraculous sight. If that wasn’t enough, she continued to sing her song, almost as though nothing had happened and she hadn’t tripped over mere seconds before.
According to an anonymous source who probably doesn’t exist, Madonna is “miserable and embarrassed” about the whole affair. Don’t be an embarrassed, Madonna: you fell over and then got back up again. You’re an inspiration. All you have to do is laugh it off, murder the dancer who was responsible for your stumble and then everything will be back to normal.
Photo: Getty Images
