This Amazon Review Of 5-Hour Energy Doubles As A Cautionary Tale On Moderation

April 15, 2016

Though I’ve never actually used the product myself, I assume that 5-Hour Energy comes in small bottles for a reason. Namely, to be ingested one at a time and, at most, twice a day. But if you’re an individual of an extreme persuasion who believes they could handle the energy drink in Big Gulp proportions for a boost that lasts all day (and possibly night), you may be forced to reconsider after browsing the following Amazon review.

Coffee, anyone?

(via Imgur)

If you couldn't tell by his photo, dignity flew out the window long ago for Cory. But that just means that nothing is off limits, making him the perfect fit to write for Mandatory. Hobbies include: eating pizza, thinking about going for a jog today, writing memes that no one finds funny, and wondering what life would be like if he'd actually put forth the effort to make something of it 10 years ago. He also owns two other hats (not pictured).

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