Photo: Buena Vista Pictures
It’s been more than 20 years since we’ve gotten any flying Vs or knuckle-pucks so it goes without saying, we’re in need of an influx of Mighty Ducks. Hell, even the NHL team long ago abandoned the “Mighty.” While a fourth film bringing back the old crew, as well as a total reboot, have been shot down by Disney, there has been a glimmer of hope for people wondering where they are now. That got us thinking, and you know what happens when we get to thinking…
With so many people still binging Friday Night Lights because they love the coach, the team and the teen drama, what better way to bring back the Ducks than an NBC Ducks-on-Ice styled show. Friday Night Lights was a TV adaptation of Remember the Titans so why shouldn’t a great sports trilogy with a large audience get the same treatment?
Let’s break it down just how the show would run, how the Ducks could not only come back but in a long-lasting authentic way, and then you can tell us how smart we are.
Bombay In The Lead
Focus on the coach’s life. You can use the DUI at the start to show it’s not going to be hunky dory like Coach Taylor (Kyle Chandler). But now he’s divorced with a kid, let’s say, a son (or Charlie) who sucks at hockey. Instead of having him be a great coach and a great dad, have him be a bit of a screw up and figuring it out along the way. Nobody gets asked to coach the Olympics after a season of coaching pee-wee as part of community service for drunk driving. These things take time.
The Setup
Friday Night Lights had a great setup. Typically, there would be some team drama, coach’s family drama, people getting hit by cars or injured, arrested for drinking, cheating girlfriends, you name it. Then the following episode would be the game, and the team would have to adapt to the changes brought on by the drama in the week’s prior.
Just the same, the Ducks were always fun to watch growing up, but there was plenty of story in between, especially for Charlie and Bombay. Having team and teen growing pains, focusing on high school life and Bombay’s personal woes would be a great way to split up games. And each season would work towards the state finals.
The Issues
Each character on the Ducks fits in great with a major issue to be addressed. Obviously, Averman is the nerd getting bullied. Unfortunately, Fulton is the bully (at least at first). Adam Banks struggles with his sexuality, Charlie’s an orphan, Goldberg struggles with gluten and Mike Vitar (Louise) struggles with depression once he realizes The Sandlot was it for him.
We could go deep and have Julie “The Cat” Gaffney swap genders, believable with the pressures if this is a mostly male team. Dwayne Robertson could be a rancher who battles his beastiality tendencies, and Dean Portman is clearly illiterate. Now how about the lead roles…
The New Riggins
Obviously, Charlie Conway is going to be the lead, but Disney is used to a mother dying right off the bat so his hot mom might have to take a hit. That could make for some great television, and Bombay and Hans would again be the mentors that help him focus on hockey (and not ditching school to barf in every trashcan in the Mall of America).
And then the story would be realigned so Charlie can get some lady action since Guy Germaine is clearly not closing any deals with Connie.
Brotherly Love & Some Light Racism
The original “Ducks” movie had the two Hall brothers (even though only one stayed through all three films), just as a TV show would need some fuck-up brother mentality. Nothing gets the pot stirred faster than family drama.
Having a black kid dropped into an all-white school as a concept has been done, but the hockey elements adds some instant timeliness.
A New Lyla Garrity
Every great show has the love interest, and she’s typically a babe. For us, it was Connie Moreau, but the team ended up with multiple girls by the end. While “FNL” has Tyra and Lyla, a Ducks reboot could wrangle up some tomboy gals, sans the token southern names.
All of the love interests and drama in the Ducks movies were in-house so dropping them into high school (like the third movie, except public school and good) would open up a wide range of problems to arise, like 90210 meets Saved by the Bell but with relevant topics of today like HPV and Trump lovers. Maybe Guy Germaine could even get laid (finally, but doubtful) at prom or wherever kids have sex in high school now.
Adam Banks Is An Alien
I don’t know why, but this photo made me think it and now I’m kind of convinced, yeah maybe, that’ll work. Hey, if Smallville can get away with it…And look what happened to Allison Mack, who turned out to be the real weirdo.
A Misunderstood Bully
There is always one big softy who is heavily misunderstood, and Fulton was the guy. In a TV adaptation, he could easily be the guy getting arrested, drinking and starting fights, but when applied to hockey, it opens up a whole new world for him, and then he becomes the big softy. Then come the Bash Brothers and they take their shirts off and dance in the penalty box.
So what do you think? Pretty great pitch, huh?
Oh, Wait…
Photo: via deviantart.com
Oh right, didn’t they try this already? Nevermind.
