It’s that time of year again when Americans celebrate the resurrection of a chocolate Easter bunny and his 12 delicious peeps. But in an era of gender identification, it only makes sense that we have a genderless Easter bunny.
Peter Cottontail no longer wishes to go by that name as they are now Peter Cottonthem. Even though Peter Cottonthem continues to deliver baskets of candy despite supply chain issues, many suburban parents refuse to accept this genderless eastern bunny.
“We only want this radical left-wing bunny poisoning our children’s teeth, not their minds with his swinging immoral bunny lifestyle,” said an irate Karen. Adding, “Next thing you’ll know the radical left will want our kids learning about Critical Rabbit Theory.”
The Funniest Peeps Dioramas on the Internet
The Easter bunny doesn’t feel like they/them gender position disqualifies they/them from breaking into people’s homes to deliver a weird basket full of candy.
“Look, if people forget to call me Peter Cottonthem from time to time then that’s fine,” said the Easter Bunny. “I mean, at the end of the day, I’m just as fictitious as Mr. Potatohead so it really doesn’t matter what my pronouns are.”
As long as the Easter Bunny doesn’t bring any of those horrific black licorice jelly beans, they can be any gender they want.
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