Wipe that sweat off your brow, we made it through another week of madness. More and more people may be putting Twitter down to escape from the daily doom updates, and in doing so they could be missing out on some of the hilarious tweets that are still out there trying to make the world not seem so glum.
Thankfully you have us, and it’s Friday, which means it’s once again time for the funniest tweets of the week! If you were unfortunate to miss our last collection of tweets, not to worry. We’re here for you if you need us. Now, catch up on all the Twitter insanity here then be sure to follow us on Twitter @Mandatory.
Skip the endless scrolling and get right to the good stuff. Catch up on all the insane tweets you missed right here, right now.
(Barron not even looking up from his Xbox)
“Safe’s in the back.”— Mike Scollins (@mikescollins) August 8, 2022
i wanna be 14 again & ruin my life differently. i have new ideas.
— yessir (@priinnyvert) August 4, 2022
If you miss me just text me, why u showing up in my dreams tf
— toxic king (@777jorgeivan) August 4, 2022
jordan peele’s movies jordan peele pic.twitter.com/rek3VPjrKO
— Filmme Talk (@FilmmeTalk) July 31, 2022
if anybody breaks into my house we’ll just be searching for valuable things together
— Xavier (@xavierofficials) August 2, 2022
Can the next person who dies bring up some Kitkats
— Jesus H Christ (@ThatBloke_Jesus) April 18, 2022
she ain’t send me a tik tok in 3 days, i lost her
— (@slvppy) August 8, 2022
hate when i go out in public and the public be out there
— Xavier (@xavierofficials) August 8, 2022
if u ask a girl “are you mad” and she replies with “no why would i be” all the best bro
— (@znaxya) August 8, 2022
Has 50 coffee mugs. Drinks out of the same one every day.
— Jawbreaker (@sixfootcandy) August 9, 2022
My weapon of choice is the pizza wheel
— Lori (@Cornjerker78) July 23, 2022
My CHECK ENGINE light needs to go get itself a real fuckin job.
— Marcmywords (@Marcmywords2) August 8, 2022
cats have the right idea: wake up and scream your little face off until the world gives you what you need
— the moon’s wife (@bookishseawitch) August 8, 2022
men used to go to war now they buy blueberry flavored vape
— k (@yesitskayy) August 9, 2022
Just told my sleeping husband I lost two lbs, to which he replied, with his eyes still closed, “I’ll help you find them. We’ll look later”
— Julie (The Texan Minnesotan) (@juliepafoofnic) August 9, 2022
