Rene Lachemann is the first base coach for the Colorado Rockies and according to reports gives out a ball to a young, lucky fan most games. However, there's a caveat; the kid who's fortunate enough to get a game ball must listen to Lachemann ramble about life lessons.
Fight with your brother or sister? Don't. Play video games? Don't. Eat them vegetables! Oh, and my favorite:"Don't be peein on the toilet seat. Ya understand?"
He got all mic'd up for TV Wednesday night against the Phillies so they could record him while he approached this kid:
I'm not sure if Lachemann goes too far or if he makes the mistake of not taking it far enough? I mean if you're going to spew out that much advice to a kid under 60 seconds you might as well add no booze, smoking, drugs and safe sex to the list. Oh, and chafing at the age of 13 is perfectly normal yet should be a warning you should slow down a bit.
Josh Helmuth is the editor of CraveOnline Sports. You can follow him on Twitter @JHelmuth or subscribe to the channel Facebook page here.