Middle School Mayhem: The Top 12 Food Fight Weapons Ever Created

“He pulls a knife, you pull a gun. He sends one of yours to the hospital, you send one of his to the morgue!”

Well, OK, maybe morgue talk is a little too over-the-top in relation to the average schoolyard food fight.  But the lesson Jim Malone and his tweed wool cap impart here is a critical one.

A superior arsenal WILL rule the day.  It’s true in Eastern Europe, in Prohibition-era Chicago…and during lunch period at North Fairfax Elementary.

“He pulls a ham and cheese, you pull a PB&J.  He sends one of yours to detention, you send one of his to the nurse’s station!”

Metaphors aside, our buddies at Thrillist didn’t have anything going on today — so they assembled their list of the best food fight ammo a kid can get his hands on for guaranteed victory when the inevitable hail of milk, hot lunches and fruit starts flying.

Take a look at Thrillist’s complete breakdown — and don’t forget to bring a raincoat.

PHOTO: Flickr/Design-Dog

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