Best Episode Ever # 25: ‘Modern Family’

“Modern Family” is a juggernaut for ABC, now in its fifth season, and so popular that the cast once held a strike to ensure they got fair deals. With a long future still ahead for “Modern Family,” it may be a risk to pick their Best Episode Ever right now, but with the angle I’m going to take, I’m pretty sure this will stand.

I’m calling the pilot the Best Episode Ever of “Modern Family.” Yes, that makes this a bit of a backhanded Best Episode Ever, to say the show never improved past its pilot. In fact, I think the show made a conscious decision to water itself down, so I would like to use this column to demonstrate how we never really got the show we were promised. That show might not have been as popular ultimately as “Modern Family” currently is, but it was edgier and therefore funnier. 
 
“Modern Family” was the second best pilot of 2009, or possibly best as “Community” didn’t really hit its stride for several episodes. We are introduced to three generations of the same family, in what might have been considered a twist at one point when they were all revealed to connect, but the network smartly let it be known before the pilot aired that Jay (Ed O’Neill) was the father of Claire (Julie Bowen) and Mitchell (Jesse Tyler Ferguson). 
 
When we meet Claire and Phil (Ty Burrell) Dunphy, we get an immediate sense of the sexuality in their family. Haley (Sarah Hyland) is wearing a skirt too short, which is a standard dilemma for parents of teenage girls. The joke is that Phil mistakes the issue and tells Haley she looks pretty, which is the right gesture for self-esteem issues, but way out of context here. A joke about baby oil suggests Phil and Claire’s provocative bedroom activities too, something I don’t think gets much play in later episodes. 
 
Alex (Ariel Winter) teases Haley about her promiscuity in the pilot. Subsequently, Alex would just focus on Haley’s intelligence which is also important, but makes Haley more of a generic ditz and avoids the very real touchy issue of teen sexuality. Yes, Haley’s boyfriends would remain a plot thread, and to keep dealing with teen sex would tempt the fine line of gender double standards, but they should have challenged themselves to walk that line. They succeeded in the pilot. 
 
Phil trying too hard to be the cool dad is comic gold. It’s a relatable desire and it was demonstrated in clever ways. He tries to keep up with texting lingo but mistakes WTF for “Why the face” with a completely straight face. Singing High School Musical songs is a great bit of physical comedy. Unfortunately, they decided to make Phil’s character just a buffoon which is probably an easier laugh, but it removed the strong motivation from his character. It became frustrating for me to watch him just be oblivious to what was going on. I liked when he was trying to be involved and just missing a key bit of discernment. Phil also wasn’t too much of a pushover to let Luke win at basketball, a nice edgy touch that is completely gone now. 
 
It’s worth noting that Jay wears a track suit this entire episode. He would soon switch to dress shirts which are very flattering to Ed O’Neill, and in fact a fashion after which I model my own wardrobe, but it’s less funny than the old guy who doesn’t give a crap how he looks. The show would really stop playing up the age difference between Jay and Gloria (Sofia Vergara) and focus only on their cultural differences. That may be progressive to be less ageist, but the writers were actually clever about the age jokes. Jay got mistaken for an elderly mall walker. That’s a real thing! They should comment on real things. Gloria’s son Manny (Rico Rodriguez) was in love with a 16-year-old girl in the pilot, which becomes a poignant demonstration of the hypocrisy of relationship age gaps. It’s cool for mom and dad but not teenagers? 
 
Even Cam (Eric Stonestreet) and Mitchell are edgier in the pilot. They play up the cultural battle for gay parents’ equality with a misunderstanding on the plane about cream puffs. Mitch gives a self-righteous monologue before realizing that a passing couple was referring to the pastries in baby Lily’s hands, not her two male parents. Cam also dramatically presents Lily like The Lion King, a feat he hasn’t topped since, no matter how many times he does Fizbo. 
 
Now, what Cam and Mitch are doing for society is monumental. It is so important that we have a representation of gay families on the air, and that America is so accepting of them is vital progress. I’m still looking for them to be funny though, and it seemed there was more comedy to be mined from Mitch’s social indignation. The setup and payoff of the cream puff joke is classic comedy structure. 
 
They’ve also moved away from Jay’s “traditional” (i.e. anti-gay) values. This is also a socially positive move, as it shows generations being accepting rather than constantly resisting. What replaced Jay’s backwards attitude now is just generic family dysfunction. Jay doesn’t share Mitch’s interests, and he makes fun of Mitch sometimes. Not only is that less funny, but it misses Jay’s very real moment of self-reflective redemption at the end of the pilot. After criticizing Mitch and Cam’s choice to adopt a baby, he admits he’s not the best example of fatherhood and accepts them. That is the most powerful bit of social healing, and a heart the show can now only manufacture out of weekly shenanigans.
 
The pilot of “Modern Family” was much darker than the show became. A major subplot involved shooting a child. Phil had to teach Luke (Nolan Gould) a lesson about using his bee bee gun by shooting him. It became several set pieces as the Dunphys had to schedule the right time for the gunshot logistically, and Luke tried to cushion himself with layers of clothing. Then the shooting itself became a masterpiece of slapstick. What do we get now, throwing mud at each other while wearing white or getting stuck in a dollhouse? 
 
People like “Modern Family”, so who am I to say it shouldn’t have gone in the direction it did. I like edgier, higher concept shows like “Community” and “Happy Endings” which struggle to make it on the air. But, Best Episode Ever is not a popularity contest. Wait, it is, but only within a show’s own set of standards. When we’re talking artistic merit, the pilot is the Best Episode Ever of “Modern Family.” 
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