Ernest Rides Again (dir. John R. Cherry III, 1993)
Ernest Rides Again, while just as professional as its low-budget kindred, feels more trifling in comparison. Smaller somehow. Less reliant on Ernest as a character, and more reliant on Ernest as shtick. For one, Ernest (Jim Varney) doesn’t have a blue-collar job in this film. He’s just a local eccentric of some kind. He could be homeless for all we know.
In the opening scene, Ernest is using a metal detector to look for Nefertiti’s jewels. He digs up a metal chuck and loudly declares it to be Nefertiti’s crystal skull. This sort of childish overactive imagination is now what drives Ernest as a character, and he seems to be even more dimly aware of the world around him. We’re beginning to get the sense that Ernest has perhaps lost his mind. Oh yes, several nails fire from a nailgun right into the top of his skull, leaving him sore but uninjured. To repeat: cartoon violence only works when it’s being done to cartoons.
But dig this: Ernest refers to himself as a cartoon. He says something along the lines of “This would hurt if I weren’t practically a cartoon!” He also breaks a handsaw with his skull later in the film. There’s your tone.
The story involves a wimpy college professor named Abner (Ron K. James) who has theorized that the British Crown Jewels are actually fakes, and the real jewels were stolen by the Confederate army during the Civil War, and are hidden in the barrel of a missing canon called Goliath. Ernest hears this theory, and spends the film encouraging the milquetoast teacher to go looking for the jewels. No big surprise: they find Goliath. Indeed, a long portion of the film is spent with Ernest riding on top of Goliath as it coasts down a highway.
By the film’s end, several parties have caught wind of the Crown Jewels, and, like It’s a Mad Mad Mad Mad World, are all pursuing the same treasure. There’s Ernest and Abner, who have the jewels. There;s the rich collector Dr. Glencliff (Tom Butler) who would kill for the jewels. There’s the British secret service and their team of limos. There’s also Abner’s unfunny shrewish yuppie wife Nan (played by the funny Linda Kash, who will appear in two more Ernest movies) who has hijacked a pair of surreal salesmen named Frank and Joe (Duke Ernsberger and Jeffrey Pillars).
The salesmen are the most interesting character in the movie. They speak really quickly, and practically alternate words in each other’s sentences. At first it’s kind of annoying, but after a while, you can’t help but be impressed by the feat of timing the two actors achieved. More than that, though, the salesmen feel like something out of, well, a TV commercial from the late ’80s or early ’90s. It’s here that director Cherry seems to feel the most comfortable. Commercials are quick and in-your-face and only last 30 seconds. As such, when he’s dealing with broad cartoonish characters that can be explained in bite-size chunks, Cherry really pulls through.
So Ernest may not be developing into a real life character, but Cherry probably doesn’t want him to. He was borne of commercials, and, with Ernest Rides Again, perhaps remains in their purview. It may also be why the film was such a failure. Rides Again feels like a lesser movie.
Although, good luck getting the theme song unstuck from your brain. Seriously, that thing will never leave.
There will, however, be four more Ernest films to explore, as be round the curve into straight-to-video land. Be sure to return next week for a look at what ever became of Ernest Goes to School, as well as the stand-alone features Slam Dunk Ernest, Ernest Goes to Africa, and the final film, Ernest in the Army. Stay tuned, Vern, knowhutImean?
Witney Seibold is a featured contributor on the CraveOnline Film Channel, and co-host of The B-Movies Podcast. You can read his weekly articles Trolling, Free Film School and The Series Project, and follow him on “Twitter” at @WitneySeibold, where he is slowly losing his mind.
