As I round the final corner of The Series Project featuring everyone’s rubberfaced redneck Ernest P. Worrell, I can make the following conclusion: Generally speaking, these movies kinda suck. Especially some of the ones that linger near the end of the series, as I will discuss in detail below. But – and here’s the kicker – I have developed a huge amount of respect for Jim Varney as a performer and comedian. He played the Ernest character in ten feature films, countless commercials, and several video specials over the course of his career, and he never ever half-assed it. He was always there on set, fully committed to the part; he never looks like he’s growing bored or giving anything less than his all. However you felt about the Ernest character (and I know some people really hated him), you have to admire Jim Varney.
So yeah some of these movies are pretty dang bad. Ernest Goes to Camp is goofy and dumb and is hard to watch if you’re over the age of 12. Ernest Rides Again is a little bland and features an Ernest who has gone a little insane. And two of the films in a row – Ernest Goes to School and Slam Dunk Ernest, which I’ll discuss below – have the same lame plot, turning the inherently good-hearted Ernest into a would-be villain. Which may be a throwback to Dr. Otto and the Riddle of the Gloom Beam, but I doubt it. But overall, I can only really recommend two of these films – maybe three – to the curious cineaste in your family. 30% is a bad track record for any series.
But, again, Jim Varney is a professional. The Ernest character is actually kind of appealing in his innocence. I compared him to Harpo Marx in one article, and that holds true. Ernest is a cartoonish, childlike figure who knows nothing but helping people. He’s not very capable – his clumsiness gets him into trouble – but he’s, well, earnest in his desire to help his friends. And everyone is his friend. Ernest may face off against a few villains, but Ernest has never had a rival.
But we have four remaining films to cover this week, so let’s get to the nitty-gritty, starting with the hard-to-find…
Ernest Goes to School (dir. Coke Sams, 1994)
Ernest Goes to School is also the first film wherein people generally don’t like Ernest. Ernest has always been something of an idiot, and the blustery, upper class, Margaret Dumont types have always disliked him, but mellow regular people and enthused kids have always been his friends. This time around, Ernest is laughed at and mocked by just about everyone. When he falls over or messes up (which is often), the entire room laughs at him. He is the victim of bullies (one of whom is played by a young Will Sasso), and he is not respected by his boss.
The plot of the film involves Ernest (Jim Varney) having to return to high school to get the diploma he never earned; it turns out he can’t work as a janitor there unless he’s a high school graduate. Ernest is terrified and is not a good student. For some reason, he is allowed to have a locker with the teenagers, and sit in the same classes. You’d think he’d go to night school or something, and meet other ragtag misfits, but the filmmakers went with a mare cartoon setup.
Then the story gets weird when a man German science teacher named Gerta (Linda Kash) plugs Ernest into an experimental machine that makes him intelligent for 45 minutes at a time. Kind of like The Box from Batman Forever. When Ernest is give a “hit,” glasses appear on his face, and a tie appears around his neck. He begins acing his tests and becomes a virtuosos player of any and all instruments. He becomes the drum major of the marching band. He also begins behaving arrogantly, and begins ignoring the nerdy kids that I guess he was friends with before. One of the nerdy kids is played by a young Sarah Chalke from “Scrubs.”
It’s no fun watching the previously good-natured Ernest become a bastard. Which means we’re not laughing. Also, the screenplay is so sloppy, that out main story with the brain machine wraps up a good two thirds of the way through the film. Ernest learns that he’ll just have to study on his own, and pass his finals under his own brain power. But this doesn’t stop he and the other nerdy students from using a similar brain machine (also invented by Goethe, I mean Gerta) to become star football players for the film’s climax. I’m a little confused as to the message this film is trying to send to us. You have to study on your own, but it’s okay to take physical performance-enhancing brain electrodes?
And why do the nerds have to become football stars? Because of a last-minute plot development involving an evil corporate greaseball who wants to tear the school down – if you recall, this was the same kind of plot from Ernest Goes to Camp – and who has bribed the high school’s football coach into throwing an important game. The German science teacher gases the real football players (I kid you not), and the nerds take their place, taking electric drugs right on the field.
It’s a sloppy film, Ernest Goes to School. The story is scattered, Ernest’s shtick is tamped down, and Ernest becomes a different, less likeable character throughout.
And it’s odd how that exact same formula will be repeated in…
