In CraveOnline‘s ‘What to Do’ series, we highlight a number of common (and controversial) relationship issues and tell you what What to Do with brutal, unflinching honesty. This week: What to Do if You’ve Cheated On Your Girlfriend.
So you’ve cheated on your girlfriend. In your lifetime you’ve likely encountered or heard of many instances of infidelity, and each one has been dealt with differently to the next.
However, there’s only one correct course of action to take when you’ve done the dirty on your partner, and in the first entry in CraveOnline‘s new ‘What to Do‘ series, we’re going to highlight the steps you should now take.
Read on to find out what to do if you’ve cheated on your girlfriend.
STEP 1: Don’t start thinking up reasons to excuse your behavior.
Regardless of whether you and your girlfriend have an unhappy relationship, the course of action to take is NOT to cheat on her, and there is no excuse for doing so. Cheating on your significant other doesn’t necessarily make you a bad person, but it does make you a person who’s made a bad decision, and there is no reason you could possibly find that will excuse your behavior.
Many men tell themselves that their relationship has not been working for a while, therefore them cheating was an inevitability. However, the course of action to take if you find yourself in an unhappy relationship is either to attempt to amend the situation, or break up with her and go your separate ways. Cheating isn’t the most reasonable option when you find yourself stuck in an unhappy relationship, and you shouldn’t convince yourself otherwise.
STEP 2: Tell her.
This is without a doubt the most difficult part of the process, but it’s also the most important. You will likely find it immensely difficult to work up the strength to inform your girlfriend that you have cheated on her, as admittance of a personal failing is never easy. Oftentimes people will take the easy route and continue to live the “easy life” until their significant other eventually finds out about their wrongdoing, but doing such a thing is merely delaying the inevitable and intensifying the amount of anger she’ll place behind her kick when she inevitably boots you right in the testes.
If you’ve cheated on your girlfriend you more than likely fall into one of two categories:
- You’re in an unhappy relationship and wanted to experience some joy without having to go through the process of leaving your girlfriend.
- You’re in a happy relationship but you’ve made a big mistake.
If you fall into either of those categories, then telling her of your cheating is your most viable option. If you’re in an unhappy relationship, then your infidelity is obviously due to your unhappiness. By not addressing this and not informing your girlfriend, you are continuing to pursue a relationship that you don’t want to be in merely for the sake of not having to take ownership of your mistakes. If you’re in an otherwise happy relationship but you experienced a “moment of weakness”, then not telling your girlfriend is not only hugely cowardly and unfair to her, but it’s also delaying the inevitability that she’ll eventually find out. By immediately addressing your cheating, you’re preventing her from experiencing much worse pain further down the line, when she discovers that not only did you cheat on her, but you also lied to her for weeks/months/years afterwards.
STEP 3: Don’t pin any of the blame on her.
The most heinous of relationship crimes men commit after cheating is pinning partial responsibility on their girlfriends after having cheated on them. By using the age-old get-out clauses such as “we weren’t having enough sex” or “we’ve been unhappy lately”, you’re essentially turning yourself into the villain of every romantic-comedy film that’s ever existed.
You’re an adult. If you’re experiencing problems in your relationship you must address them, rather than being a dick and hunting for comfort with other women. If you’ve already been a dick and have therefore already sought said comfort, then trying to make her feel as though she’s responsible for YOUR actions is not only incredibly cowardly, but it’s also mentally abusive. While cheating on your girlfriend doesn’t make you an inherently bad person, making her feel to blame for your cheating is a sign that you are, or you’re becoming, a world-class prick.
Own up to your mistakes and admit responsibility for your own actions.
