There Are Two Big Reasons To Watch This Clip From The Marlins Game Last Night

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Here’s one way to get those little millennial fucks to stop whining about pace of play.

Let’s be honest: The Miami Marlins are a full-blown dumpster fire. But hey, that’s what happens when the owner is the world’s second-largest bag of shit and the franchise’s future tragically dies after crashing a boat into a Miami Beach jetty at 65 m.p.h.

So now that we know the two biggest reasons behind Miami’s pig shit awful 13-20 start, you should understand why setting aside three hours of your day to watch them struggle through nine innings would be a bigger waste of time than attending a Corey Feldman concert.

Well, at least that was the case. Here are two big reasons why you should now be tuning in to every single Marlins home game the rest of the way:

There Are Two Big Reasons To Watch This Clip From The Marlins Game Last Night

Anybody else have a sudden yearning for a glass or two of whole milk?

The Marlins might have lost again to the Cardinals Wednesday night, but I feel like the rest of us were definitely winners.

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