While statistically you’re more likely to have the life squeezed out of you via your balls, there have been legitimate reports of people dying from smoking weed. I know, I know: I’m a total liar. But before you go pooh-poohing me in the Mandatory commentariat, remember, I’m only reporting the news, not making shit up. (Photo credit: Doug Menuez)
The federal government says that marijuana potency has increased 10 to 25 times since the ’60s. And with such nifty advents as “dabbing,” “medibles” and ultrapotent THC pills, it’s not too mind-bending to imagine that weed could possibly do some damage. Here are some of the rare cases of Mary Jane snatching the life out of its unsuspecting users.
1. “A young mother of three died after she was poisoned by the cannabis she smoked to help her get to sleep.”
On October 28, 2013, Briton Gemma Moss died from what coroners describe as a fatal overdose of cannabis. Her death shook the Web, prompting many to question whether it’s indeed possible for someone to bite the dust from pot. When local coroner Sherriff Payne asked pathologist Dr. Kudair Hussein, “You are satisfied it was the effects of cannabis that caused her death?” Dr. Hussein replied, “Yes, sir.”
While the Huffington Post argued it’s extremely unlikely, in the 10,000-year history of marijuana use, to have a fatality, citing ingestion must be 20,000 to 40,000 times the amount of THC in a joint for the potential of death, an autopsy showed zero signs of Moss dying from natural causes.
2. “I have not seen anything like this before. It corrects the argument that cannabis cannot kill anybody.”
Lee Maisley smoked six joints a day for 11 years and never had a problem. One night on August 21, 2003, he complained of headaches and never woke up. The 36-year-old Welshman was said to have smoked “25,000 reefers” (what the hell is a “reefer,” anyway?) over the course of his lifetime and post-mortem tests showed high levels of cannabinoids in his blood.
He was disease-free and hadn’t consumed alcohol in 48 hours-rare for a Welshman. Coroners ruled the official cause of death as “cannabis toxicity.”
I’m starting to think the U.K. grows some pretty bloody wicked skunk.
3. “After exclusion of other causes of death, we assume that the young men died from cardiovascular complications evoked by smoking cannabis,” the researchers wrote.
Two otherwise healthy young Germans bit the dust due to cardiovascular complications linked to toxic levels of THC. One, a 23-year-old with no history of health problems collapsed suddenly riding public transportation; the other, a 28-year-old, perished while sleeping.
The study which brought these cases to light received overwhelming media response and quite a few unpleasant reactions from individuals, claiming it was totally not chill, ruining their buzz. Questions about lethal doses of kraut in their system went suspiciously unanswered.
4. “Well, it finally happened-marijuana killed a man.”
In 2013, a Brazilian man hit his last tree. A police chase ended when the unnamed drug trafficker crashed into a tree, forcing 500 kilos of product to crush him. (That’s a half-ton, for Americans.) Federal Highway Police asked the man to stop at a roadblock, to which he replied, “Não, obrigado,” and fled for three miles until his demise.
When you’re transporting drugs kids, use a U-Haul, not a Nissan.
Some of you might think I’m bedeviling the use of marijuana. Not at all. In fact, I believe such critics and naysayers are some of the biggest idiots on the planet. If you’ve ever smoked or ingested heroic doses of weed and felt as though you were about to die, please, indulge use in the comments.
*BONUS*
Stories of People Benefiting From the Use of Marijuana
1. Charlotte Figi, 5, had Davat Syndrome, causing her to suffer 300 grand mal seizures a week. After exhausting every option, and coming close to giving up, her parents put her on a regular dose of oil from a strand of low-THC marijuana. It stopped virtually all seizures. They named the strand “Charlotte’s Web” in her honor.
2. Autistic boy Joey Perez, 10, weighed only 46 pounds. His mother thought he was on the verge of death: “You could see the bones in his chest. He was going to die.” After giving him pot brownies, his appetite and demeanor drastically changed. He was requesting food he never wanted before. Now he is a healthy weight and eats weed brownies once every few days.
3. Mykalya Comstock, 7, undergoes chemotherapy to treat her leukemia. It causes her nausea and pain. She is one of the world’s youngest medical marijuana users. Her mother now gives her a one-gram capsule of marijuana oil daily because it takes away her pain, increases her appetite and energy, and reduces her prescriptions.
4. They found a stage-four brain tumor surrounding 20-month-old Cash Hyde’s optic nerve. He fell deathly ill and went 40 days without eating. After his father slipped cannabis oil in his feeding tube, within two weeks he was laughing and eating and sitting up. Doctors called his recovery “a miracle.” Marijuana extended his life for an extra two years before he sadly died in his father’s arms at the age of four.
