Photo: NBC
In childhood, we cannot appreciate the finer things, probably because we’re too worried what other people think. That, and our brains are not fully formed enough to understand how much we will live for these things in adulthood. But there are a few hidden lessons in being an adult, one of which is the importance of doing absolutely nothing whenever possible.
Whether it’s bath time or nap time, eating your greens or staying home on New Years, the scale of things we thought were important as a child soon tip as an adult. You once thought cleaning was the ultimate death sentence, but now you call out of work to stay home in your robe and clean until your hands fall off. Hell, even Nic Cage’s terrible hairstyles are probably starting to look good. Nope, nevermind, still funny though.
Have a look at 12 things you despised as a child but now live for as an adult. Not only will you relate, but you’ll quit what you’re doing to complete all 12 simultaneously until somebody tells you to stop. Don’t worry, nobody cares what you’re doing.
12 Things You Despised As A Child But Now Live For As An Adult
More things to appreciate: 2003 Was The Best Year Ever For Bad Movies You Secretly Love
Hated as a Child
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Eating Your Fruits & Veggies
"Finish your greens, they'll make you big and strong," my mother told me. Well, I'm 32, not big or strong and I still eat the damn greens. Where did that get me, mom? Where did it get me!?
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Meeting Animals
As a child, I couldn't look at a goat and not cry. Now, every time I see a rabid rescue dog, I'm all "Who's a good boy?" down on my knees, waiting to get my face chewed off.
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Cleaning Your Room
Fuck the room, I'll clean the whole house on a Saturday while my friends are drinking at the beach. Joke's on them, since I'm the one having more fun. I've got my vintage lace cleaning apron and a glass of rosé. Who can beat that shit?
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Bath Time!
The only thing almost as good as sleeping is showering. Baths, in theory, are disgusting inventions, but I'm still having a ball in my luke-warm water, reenacting scenes from The Thin Red Line with my nephew's toy soldiers. The little shit doesn't know what he has.
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Nap Time!
When girls want me to cuddle up and take a nap with them, they think I'm going out of my way to appease them. They couldn't be more wrong.
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Getting Your Hairs Done
Bangs on a Fri-yay? Holy shit, what's happening to me? Either someone dosed my coffee, or I'm turning into everyone else. In reality, I'm probably getting a bowl cut.
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Alcohol: The Flavor
As a child, alcohol was the devil's spunk, but as an adult, I take two tablespoons in a plastic cup to go to sleep and rip a hard pull of it off my nightstand first thing in the morning. I guess you could say it's an acquired taste.
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First Day Back At School
There was always something dreadful and eerie about the first day back, like you could smell it. Back then, you hated going when your parents were paying the way. Now I'm dropping bills trying to woodwork a fucking birdhouse.
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Talking About the Sex
Cooties and vaginas were once the root of all evil, but now I can't stop telling girls when I have an erection, as though they're the one doctor who can cure me.
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Getting Carded
I used to be nervous when they'd scan my ID, even though it was mine and I was of age. Now, I get so excited I end up hugging the dude when he asks to see it.
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Kissing Your Relatives
Your grandmother's kiss was always the painful ending to any family gathering as a child. Now, you're practically lining up the fam for Frenchie goodbyes on the Fourth of July.
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Doing Absolutely Nothing
As a child, having no weekend plans was a direct sign you were a loser with no friends. Today, if I can manage to stay home alone on a weekend, I'm the most badass motherfucker I've ever known.
