From the team-building seminar that Bob from Human Resources put together to your ex-girlfriend’s lesbian wedding, life is full of awkward moments. But don’t stop at just an awkward hug or prolonged silence. Not when, with minimal effort, you too can make everyone around you all kinds of uncomfortable in as little as five seconds. Take those awkward moments to the next level with these sure-fire ways to spice up your unwieldy social encounters. Bob in H.R. will thank you for it.
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Awkward Moments
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Begin popping and locking your limbs while repeating ‘download in progress.’
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Take off your pants and begin steaming them with an imaginary iron.
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Smile, un-smile, repeat.
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Excuse yourself, return as a furry.
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Let one rip, walk away.
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Let one rip, hold your ground.
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Force everyone to give you a high-five and then pull away on the low-five.
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Express to the group your recent thoughts regarding choking a dolphin.
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Ask if they’ve heard the new David Hasselhoff record.
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Stand up and slap yourself while quoting the Bible.
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Casually bring up the subject of circumcision.