It might seem like dating is moving faster than ever thanks to all the apps connecting us with eligible partners at the tap of a screen, but a new study shows that couples move slower than you’d think. Superdrug Online Doctor surveyed 602 Americans and 408 Europeans about their relationship timelines and found that when it comes to milestones, the ideal timeline of single people is different from that of the actual timeline of currently committed people. Specifically, we all want to progress through the dating game more quickly than most of us do. On the road to happily ever after (or at least not miserably single forever), how quickly should you jump from one stage to the next? Today, we’re breaking down expectations versus reality on major relationship goal posts. Pump those breaks and you just might go the distance.
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Relationship Milestones
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Hold Hands
Expectation: 0.4 months
Reality: 1.1 months
It's sweet that you want to hold your special someone's hand, but there's no need to wait weeks to do so. Enjoy it while it lasts, because it won't be long before you find your partner's clammy palm to be off-putting and this show of affection feels childish.
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Kiss
Expectation: 0.5 months
Reality: 1.3 months
Congratulations; you're now swapping spit, a behavior unique to humans in the mammalian world. And if you can stop at kissing, more power to you.
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Meet Each Other's Friends
Expectation: 1 month
Reality: 1.7 months
It seems odd that you'd meet your love interest's BFFs before doing the deed, but according to this study, that's what people did, introducing their flame to their friends a month or so into the relationship.
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Reveal a Personal Secret or Flaw
Expectation: 1.6 months
Reality: 2 months
It's cute to think that you have to reveal a flaw instead of it being blatantly obvious to your partner. But we're all for secret sharing; just remember what Benjamin Franklin said: "Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead."
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Sleep Over at Each Other's Place
Expectation: 1 month
Reality: 2.5 months
Aw! You're sleeping over at each other's place and somehow keeping your clothes on. Wait, what is this, fifth grade?
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Become an Official or Exclusive Couple
Expectation: 2.2 months
Reality: 2.6 months
Commitment time comes quick in a relationship and before the three-month mark, you'll likely be having the "Where is this going?" talk. Oh, joy.
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Have Sex
Expectation: 1.2 months
Reality: 2.7 months
Finally! We applaud the people with enough restraint to wait not just a date or two but a month or two to get down and dirty. We also suspect those surveyed were lying their asses off about how long they held back.
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Meet Each Other's Family
Expectation: 2.2 months
Reality: 3.1 months
Meeting the 'rents is one of the most stressful milestones in a relationship. We're praying for you if you make it this far.
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Say 'I Love You'
Expectation: 2.7 months
Reality: 3.1 months
Uttering those three little words are a big step in a relationship, so we agree that waiting a few months is totally appropriate. Once you say them, you can't take them back (well, you can, but don't be that guy).
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Update Relationship Status on Social Media
Expectation: 3.2 months
Reality: 4.8 months
Now things are getting serious. When you tell the digital world that you're in a relationship, prepare for all hell to break loose on your socials. Watch out for exes suddenly sliding into your DMs trying to lure you away from your new squeeze.
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Fight
Expectation: 2.8 months
Reality: 4 months
You never forget your first fight with a new partner. Here's hoping you come out unscathed and still attached.
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Leave a Toothbrush at Each Other's Place
Expectation: 3.9 months
Reality: 4 months
When your partner starts leaving personal items behind, you know they're in it for the long haul (or just trying to keep you from bringing a side piece home). At least they brought their own toothbrush and aren't secretly using yours (yuck). See also: no more morning breath. Now that's romance.
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Travel Together
Expectation: 3.6 months
Reality: 7.3 months
Can you take this show on the road? Maybe, maybe not, which might explain why the expectation versus reality gap is particularly large when it comes to traveling together. Air travel and arousal really do not mix. The least you can do is try not to kill each other.
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Move In Together
Expectation: 7.9 months
Reality: 11.4 months
So you like each other so much you want to be around each other all the time. It's a great idea in theory, but as soon as you're sharing a bathroom, things are going to cool down in the bedroom, guaranteed, because, quite frankly, people are gross. Yes, even the person who makes your heart go pitter-pat.
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Buying a Pet Together
Expectation: 9.7 months
Reality: 12 months
You know pets are just precursors for children, right? Take your time before heading to the pound because if you break up, you'll be battling for custody of your new fur baby.
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Get Engaged
Expectation: 15.6 months
Reality: 16.9 months
After a year and change, you're convinced they're the one. Now comes the moment of truth: the proposal. Buy a big ring, say something sappy, and please, don't fuck this up.
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Get Married
Expectation: 21.5 months
Reality: 24 months
Two years into this thing and you've tied the knot. If you thought marriage was just a piece of paper, you're about to get schooled in how serious this step is. Getting married is easy; divorce is hard as hell. Do everything you can to stay hitched.
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Have Kids
Expectation: 20.5 months
Reality: 24.7 months
We're a little confused on the stats here, as the kids seem to come lickety-split after marriage. Shotgun is one way to do this, but we'd recommend being a married couple for a good long while before merging genetic material. Remember: you can always divorce a spouse but you'll be a parent forever.
