The elderly, bumbling Jasper on The Simpsons once uttered the phrase “What a time to be alive.” He was referring to Moon Pies, but we think his astonishment translates well to 2021. That’s because Samsung recently participated in a virtual version of the Consumer Electronics Show in which it unveiled smart fridges way more advanced than anyone would ever need, ginormous flat-screen TVs, and a slew of robots that will eventually enslave the human race and insert us into a Matrix-like faux-reality while they drain us of our nutrients.
But, regardless of the inevitable destruction of mankind due to our own need to create smarter robots, we can rest easy (for now) because Samsung also unveiled a robot called JetBot 90 AI+, that among vacuuming your floor can also pick up any laundry strewn absentmindedly around your apartment and can even pour you a glass of wine or whiskey.
After learning that last skill, we honestly don’t care if it does any cleaning. We’ve always wanted to live in a world where a robot could pour us a stiff drink while we sit, slack-jawed, cramming Doritos into our maw while we binge-watch The Handmaid’s Tale.
Also, they announced an air purifier robot and other robotics that don’t involve pouring any alcoholic liquid, so we honestly stopped paying attention. There’s no word yet on a timeline as to when we can have this magical bot in our homes. But, when it’s available, you can bet we’ll bow down to our robot overlords. That is, as long as they pour us a cocktail every now and then.
Photo: Peter Dazeley (Getty Images)
The Rock’s Daughter Definitely Didn’t Drop Any Noodles: It Was the ‘Paghetti Fairy’
This Week in Social Media: 2 Influencers Feud After Both Gave Same Awful Name to Their Babies
Visit the Mandatory Shop for great deals on your very own Mandatory merch.
Follow Mandatory on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.
Weird News 1-11-21
-
Facebook Creating Tool to Summarize Articles Because People Aren’t Lazy Enough Already, Thanks Zuckerberg For Making Us Dumber
For more weird news, click here.
Photo Credit: urbazon (Getty Images)
-
People With Depression Get Pills For Erectile Dysfunction in Prescription Mix-Up, Adding Endless Boners to Injury
For more weird news, click here.
Photo Credit: rclassenlayouts (Getty Images)
-
Trump Employees ‘Depressed’ That They Can’t Find Jobs After Capitol Riots, Twitter Claps Back
For more weird news, click here.
Photo Credit: Facebook
-
Betsy DeVos Resigns After Finally Spelling Her Name Correctly
For more weird news, click here.
Photo Credit: Alex Wong / Staff (Getty Images)
-
Honest Timeline: Every Dumb Thing Trump Probably Did While Banned From Twitter
For more weird news, click here.
Photo Credit: The Washington Post / Contributor
-
Covidiot Kirk Cameron Hosts Super-Spreader Christmas Carol Protests in California, Twitter Sounds Off
For more weird news, click here.
Photo Credit: fupp/Bauer-Griffin / Contributor (Getty Images)
-
Members of Congress at Capitol Hill Just Told to Get Under Their Desks, This Is a Racist Coup Drill
For more weird news, click here.
Photo Credit: Anadolu Agency / Contributor (Getty Images)
-
Naughty Nurse Has Sex With COVID-19 Positive Patient in Dirtiest Place Imaginable
For more weird news, click here.
Photo Credit: EMPPhotography (Getty Images)
-
Flight Attendant Union Working to Ban Capitol Rioters From Their Flights Home, Surely Buddy Don Can Pick Them Up on His Way Out of Town
For more weird news, click here.
Photo Credit: marcogarrincha (Getty Images)
-
Meanwhile in Texas: It’s Illegal to Own More Than 6 Dildos
For more weird news, click here.
Photo Credit: Claudia Nass (Getty Images)
-
Capitol Prostester Rubbing Eyes With Onion Is Either a Crybaby or a Resourceful Rioter (You Be the Judge)
For more weird news, click here.
Photo Credit: TMZ
-
New ‘Pajama Suit’ Is Here to Solve Your Zoom Dressing Dilemmas, Time to Donate Everything Else You Own
For more weird news, click here.
Photo Credit: Aoki Holdings
