It’s not like buying your whiskey from a random dude on the street was ever highly encouraged, but here’s as good a reason as any to buy your sauce from a respected retailer.
According to Metro, a 35-year-old conman in Blackpool will spend 70 days in jail after he admitted to selling people crappy bottles of whiskey. Literally.
Police said Nicholas Stewart tried selling bottles of Jack Daniels whiskey that were filled with pretty much everything but the good stuff. Scientific analysis revealed that the bottles contained flat Coca-Cola as well as feces and urine, which authorities think were added to change the color of the fake booze.
Blackpool Council prosecutor Victoria Cartmell said the bottles were “totally unsuitable for public consumption.”
Um, no shit.
Stewart’s lawyer argued that his client was merely selling the bottles as a means to make money to buy food. Cartmell countered with the fact that Stewart has now been involved with 32 incidents and is a troublesome defender.
The prosecution is seeking a court order to prevent Stewart from ever selling anything on the streets of Blackpool again, but let’s be honest: If they want to make sure that doesn’t happen, they’ll probably want to make sure he spends more than 70 days behind bars.
Hey, these people paid $6 for poop: 30,000 People Bought a $6 Box of Bull Feces From Cards Against Humanity
