Dating isn’t always fair. It’d be nice if women would wait to get to know you before they judge (and ultimately reject) you, but so much of dating is based on surface-level information. If you’ve struggled to land dates in the past, it doesn’t mean you’re doomed to be alone forever. With a few tweaks to the way you present yourself and minor improvements to the way you live your life, you can start attracting more attention from women you actually want to go out with. In this Mandatory guide, we’re sharing the best tips for making yourself more dateable.
Cover Photo: Tim Robberts (Getty Images)
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Be More Dateable
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Dress to impress.
A well-dressed man stands out in a crowd. You don't have to spend a fortune to look put together. Just make sure that what you do wear fits well, is clean, and is wrinkle-free.
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Exercise.
Aside from the physical benefits of weight loss or muscling up, exercise is a good habit that improves mental health, self-esteem, and sexual stamina. If you join a gym, running club, or cycling group, you'll also be in close proximity to sweaty, fit members of the opposite sex.
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Love what you do.
Women are attracted to men who love what they do. We're not all lucky enough to have our dream job, so if your 9-to-5 is a drag, pursue a passion project. That way, when you meet someone new and they ask what you do, you can say, "I work in IT, but what I'm really passionate about is [insert incredibly cool hobby here]."
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Ask questions.
Men don't realize how often they dominate conversations with women. Flip the switch by asking her some questions and actually listening to the answers. Date conversation should be equally divided between you two, and you should both feel like you learned new things about each other.
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Clean up your act.
Whether or not you bring her home, tidying up your living space will make you feel more confident and secure. Doing regular chores (without being asked) is also good practice for living together someday. If you can afford it, spring for an interior designer or ask a design-savvy friend to help you pimp out your pad in sophisticated fashion. Your living space is one of the most revealing things about you; make sure that when she does eventually see it, she isn't scared off.
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Volunteer.
You're a good guy, right? Prove it by volunteering for an organization you believe in. It'll give you great anecdotes to drop into date conversation and will reassure women that you care about others.
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Go to therapy.
If you've been dating for a while, you've probably noticed some patterns emerging, whether it's in the type of women you're attracted to, things about your partners that irk you, or how your relationships end. Therapy can demystify why you keep coming up against the same challenges again and again and help you change. You don't need to share your experiences in therapy with your date; your self-awareness will speak for itself.
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Adopt a pet.
Owning a pet forces you to come home at regular intervals, think about a being other than yourself, and teaches you responsibility. These are all attractive qualities to women. Plus, you get to have a pet -- which will provide you with some much-needed companionship until Miss Right shows up.
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Build relationships with women.
Call your mom. Babysit for your sister. Form female friendships (but not too many and not too close). By building relationships with women, you'll become more comfortable around the opposite sex, hear new perspectives, and develop a new appreciation for women. Knowing that you can interact respectfully with other women will show your date that you're not just a dog looking for his next bone.
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Practice apologizing.
Whereas women tend to apologize too much, men don't apologize often enough. Practice recognizing your mistakes and owning them. Being able to admit you messed up and say "I'm sorry" is sexy. This skill is a relationship-saver and makes you an overall better human being.
