Ryan Braun’s Steroid Thought Process

In case you’ve been too caught up in the royal baby news to hear about anything else, you’ve probably heard that Milwaukee Brewers’ All-Star (and 2011 MVP) outfielder was suspended for the rest of the 2013 baseball season because he used steroids.

Now the rest of the media world mounts their high horse because Braun–who won an appeal for a positive test two years ago due to a technicality–wagged his finger at the press and threw the guy who tested his urine under the bus and swore up and down that he never used PEDs has now essentially admitted to doing all the things he swore he didn’t do.

But we’re not going to do that. We wanted to find out why a man who was seemingly pretty good at baseball without the use of steroids would want to jeopardize his career, his name, his reputation, most of his friends, and probably all of his fans so he could hit a baseball a little harder. So we went into his brain to see what decisions could lead him to take such a crazy risk.

In totally unrelated news, Ryan Braun will lose about $4 million due to his suspension this year. But he will also continue to make the remaining $117 million from his $145 million contract that the Brewers signed him to in 2011.

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