There have been numerous OK Cupid experiments showing the depths that guys will go to hook up with girls, including my own where I made a hot girl a complete racist idiot. I noticed through every experiment, however, the profile picture was almost always a hot girl. Many people have said that it’s no shock that guys will tolerate the most absurd, horrifying personality as long as the girl is attractive. While that may be true, what would happen if I took it to an absolutely absurd level?
So…I snagged a photo of Kurt Cobain and crudely photoshopped it into a more feminine look. Basically, I just stuck a female nose and mouth over his own to cover up the facial hair.
I made the name Kirsten_Co (Get it? Kurt Cobain? Kirsten_Co.) and filled her profile with nothing but quotes from Kurt Cobain.
I set up the profile and immediately got alerts of guys visiting my page. To get things going, I would simply send “Hey” to the first few visitors and then from there I would only respond using Nirvana lyrics. Here’s what happened:
That guy even did a web search and didn’t put together that it was Kurt Cobain! I did the same search and Nirvana is the entire first page of results. Also, how does that sound hot? It sounds like a back alley vasectomy. Let’s move on…
I think I got into the harder lyrics a little too fast with that guy. Or maybe he’s just a big fan of nature and didn’t appreciate my lewd comments about her. Onto the next…
That guy eventually caught on, but not until he had already made a gross, sexual advance at Fem-Kurt. Maybe he thought her poorly photoshopped mouth could detach from the rest of the face and he could just date it? By the way, here’s my nomination for the horniest guy on earth:
You seriously took “Polly want a cracker?” as a sexual advance? I threw everything at this guy and he just wouldn’t let up. I even said I was “In Bloom!” How do you not make the connection at that point? Also, the photoshop work on my profile picture is awful. Come on.
I like to hope that guy stopped responding because he caught on, but I feel like he just didn’t want to lend an ear to be honest.
I know that guy didn’t get inappropriate, but the idea of him basically trying to motivate Kurt Cobain is really funny to me. “Look Kurt, I know you’re feeling down in the dumps right now, but chin up! Things are gonna be swell!” In case you don’t know, things did not end well for Kurt Cobain. Kirsten, on the other hand, had much better luck in the romance department.
Remember guys, it’s one thing if she’s cute and you decide to tolerate a few annoying quirks. It’s a whole other set of issues when you start trying to hook up with cross-gendered deceased grunge singers of the ’90s. Oh, and if you think this is all a fluke, here was my inbox after the first couple days:
