Photo: The Weinstein Company
Most comedies end with the guy getting his girl. It simply makes the most sense. After all, situations tend to get a bit more dramatic when they don’t. Plus, who wants to watch an entire movie about someone trying to win over his romantic interest only to lose? Still, even with that being the case, there have been a number of comedy films through the years that we feel should have ended differently, especially when it comes to the leading lady’s ultimate decision to take or leave her man. We’ll get into specific details as we go along, but for now, let’s just say that most of the guys who wind up with the girl in the end are undeserving of her (or vice versa).
Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy (2004)
Let’s face it – Ron Burgundy and Veronica Corningstone are reunited at the end of the first Anchorman film because he’s the main guy, she’s the main girl and that’s just how it is. We get that for comedy purposes, all the men in the movie have to act like stereotypical ’70s misogynist pigs, but even when Ron tones it down ever so slightly to win Veronica over initially, the couple have no real chemistry with one another besides what’s being blatantly shoved down our throats. These two are in love; accept it. That’s about the extent of their bond. The fact that the film ends with the two getting back together despite an ugly breakup which leads to them being utterly vile to one another for the duration is laughable…but we suppose that’s the point.
Major League (1989)
Has anyone ever noticed how Jake Taylor (Tom Berenger) from Major League is one of the creepiest ex-boyfriends anyone could never hope for? Someone should definitely consider cutting together a clip package a la the Mrs. Doubtfire horror movie trailer for this movie. Let’s look at a few bullet points on how he winds up winning Rene Russo’s Lynn character back: he constantly stalks her at work and around town, illegally commandeers a team vehicle in order to tail her on a date, then attempts to sabotage said date by following her up an elevator to her current fiance’s loft and crashing their dinner party. You’d seriously have to be out of your mind not to take a restraining order out on this dude.
The Hangover Part II (2011)
This one’s kind of a no-brainer, but since the film itself was essentially a carbon copy of the original, it appears the situation was overlooked. In the first movie, Ed Helms’ Stu character cheats on his controlling (and two-timing) girlfriend with a Las Vegas stripper after he and his friends are roofied. In the end, it’s all for the best, as it leads him away from a bad relationship. In the sequel, however, it all happens again in Bangkok, only with the stripper replaced with a transvestite prostitute and the girlfriend with a loving bride-to-be. See the difference? Worst of all, after barely making it to his wedding on time, he brushes over all this by simply saying “there’s a demon in me” and that these kinds of things are basically just going to keep happening. Fair enough. Let’s get married!
Wedding Crashers (2005)
As long as you’re not cheating ON her, it’s perfectly fine to cheat your way into a woman’s heart. That’s essentially the message of Wedding Crashers, because this time the sleazeball main character actually likes the girl he’s tricked into falling for him. Never mind the potentially hundreds of woman Owen Wilson’s John Beckwith hit and quit during the opening montage of the film alone; if he’s finally fallen in love, his mark had better reciprocate. Long story short, our sentiments on the way this film should have ended mirror that of one of John’s last lines which he uses to get the girl: we’d have much rather seen Claire (Rachel McAdams) wipe her hands of the entire situation and start from scratch than end up with either of the men in her life.
Overboard (1987)
Taking advantage of someone’s heart under a fake identity is one thing, but lying to someone with amnesia because they were mean to you earlier is on a whole new playing field. Perhaps the whole concept of Overboard was supposed to be made more believable because the two leads (Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn) were a couple in real life, but we see no real life scenario which began with such a bold lie ending in true love. The premise alone is simply too much to ask of a thinking audience member. So much so that the very notion of a love story being thrown into the mix at all becomes an afterthought. And don’t even get us started on how Russell’s Dean character convinces doctors that Hawn’s character is his wife, which is even harder to swallow.
Also: 10 Films Where a Lead Character Dies Long Before the Ending
Kick-Ass (2010)
We take comic-to-film adaptations pretty seriously, so some people might consider this one a little nitpicky. Bear with us. Kick-Ass in both comic book and movie form satirizes the superhero genre, and in the comics ended with Kick-Ass’ love interest Katie not only blowing him off, but sleeping with someone else in spite of him. While very nontraditional, it made the Kick-Ass character seem pretty pathetic. So we were actually happy with the way the film changed the situation and landed him the girl instead…until Kick-Ass 2. In the sequel, Katie does pretty much exactly what she did in the comic version right at the beginning of the movie, leaving us to wonder why they even deviated from the original in the first place then.
Just Friends (2005)
Just Friends is kind of a strange one to include on this list considering most people probably haven’t seen it. However, we are using it to represent many comedy films which suffer from the same basic problems. This movie is certainly not without its funny moments, but the characters and plotlines are so goofy and disjointed that it comes off more like a sketch comedy show than a movie. Some parts land and some don’t, and because of this it’s hard to take the romantic aspect to heart. Plus, the Jamie character, played by Amy Smart, is so dull and relatively boring compared to everyone else that you aren’t quite sure why Ryan Reynold’s Chris is pursuing her as hard as he is to begin with.
Zack and Miri Make a Porno (2008)
Zack and Miri Make a Porno is a great comedy which is derailed by its romantic storyline. For once on this list, it isn’t a case of the two leads not having chemistry or a relationship that feels earned, but that their love connection doesn’t flow within the confines of the rest of the story being told. Don’t get us wrong, writer/director Kevin Smith has always done right by his audience in terms of telling realistic love stories that feel natural even under crude and comical circumstances, but considering the title of the film (which can be taken at face value as to what it’s about), the juxtaposition of making feelings a big aspect of it doesn’t work. Not only that, but in having Zack and Miri fall in love with each other, it turns the porno they are trying to put together to rustle up some serious cash into a mute point, as they both abandon the project which was driving the entire movie.
Revenge of the Nerds (1984)
Call it the product of a different time if you must, but at the end of the day Robert Carradine’s Lewis character still puts a mask, pretends to be Betty’s (Julia Montgomery) boyfriend and has sex with her without her knowing he made the switch. Then, since the sex was good, she immediately doesn’t even care. And that’s Revenge of the Nerds, people.
The Simpsons Movie (2007)
When rumors of Homer and Marge Simpson getting divorced went viral back in June, it caused such a stir that the show had to put out a video assuring audiences that the speculation was unfounded. Of course, it made sense to die-hard The Simpsons fans like us, as their relationship has been pretty rocky for a long time. It was so bad in The Simpsons Movie, in fact, that we kinda felt like Marge shouldn’t have even taken Homer back. If you go back and watch it again, he is a genuine asshole from start to finish, and only finally comes to his senses not after his actions get the whole town encased in a dome, not after the government plans to exterminate everyone, but only when Marge is so fed up with his selfish buffoonery that she tapes over their wedding video and leaves him so she can go die with their friends. He only fixes things because he is literally forced to, and if Marge weren’t so blinded by her affection for the big lug, she would have cut the cord for good despite his too little, too late Hail Mary that barely saved the day.
