Valentine’s Day is a guy’s least favorite holiday. Nothing about it is for us, and it almost always leads to an empty wallet or disappointment. But we get it – you love pink and red, you love hearts, flowers, chocolates, and everything else the day entails. You even love… love. And that’s adorable. And you’re pretty, too – so we’ll spend hours struggling to figure out if we want to go the traditional route with date and flowers, or get creative with hand-made love coupons for a 30-minute foot massage and a night of binge-watching Sister Wives.
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Men don’t want flowers, or chocolate, or even romance (that’s not our style) – usually we’re more than happy to receive “physical goods” from you as appreciation for our job well done. But if you’re the type to go the extra mile and get your guy a gift too – and you must be, you clicked – then the below gift guide will give you an idea of what all men want. You know, besides sex.
Valentine’s Day Gifts for Guys:
Photo Credit: Robert Daly/Getty Images.
Valentine's Day Gifts for Guys 2017
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Nintendo Switch
Be both the coolest and most fun girlfriend around, by getting your guy a Nintendo Switch. It’s wholesome good fun for the family you want to start some day. In the meantime, there are plenty of two player games for you both to connect over.
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Phillips Hue Starter Kit
Using your smartphone, Siri, or Amazon Echo, you can change the brightness or color of your bulbs to set the lighting to match whatever mood or theme you’re going for. In this case, red, the same light used by sex workers – meaning you know things gon’ be gud. He’ll use it year-round to show support for his fav sports team, and more.
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Bitcoin
Sometimes the best gifts aren’t material gifts. Nothing says we’ll be together forever than gifting your loved one an investment opportunity. And if it pays off in the long run, you’ll be well taken care of. Next to love, isn’t that what most women want in a man?
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Apple AirPods
Like you and your guy, headphones have always been inseparable. You’ll still be – I promise – but headphones no longer need to be attached. Apple’s new AirPods look a little unusual at first, but once he’s used them, he’ll thank you for his new-found freedom (not freedom from you, you’re great).
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Blanton's Bourbon Truffles
Sweets for your sweet. Whiskey to get him frisky. All. In. One. These Bourbon Truffles uses real Blanton’s Bourbon for a boozy, chocolate experience that he will love almost as much as you.
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Polaroid Pop Instant Print Digital Camera
The Polaroid Pop is a great alternative to storing naughty photos on your smartphone. This is a new take on the classic, instant-gratification Polaroid of yesteryear, allowing you to point, shoot, and then print memories of you together – right from the camera itself. He’s totally gonna make a collage for your memories with this. Well, you can anyway.
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Arrow Cocktail Picks
Like a Cupid’s arrow striking his heart, he’ll swoon over this set of 6 arrow shaped stainless steel cocktail picks. This together with heart-shape cutout of a blood orange peel will create a perfect Valentine’s Day garnish for cocktails at home.
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Scentbird Monthly Subscription
This is a new one. Rather than buying your guy a bottle of cologne, get him a monthly subscription to Scentbird. Once he’s signed up, he can choose a 1-month’s supply of cologne from as many as 150+ designer brands, including Versace, Dolce & Gabbana, Gucci, Issey Miyake, and many more.
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GrillBot
The rib-eye and lobster tail he cooked you and served for you by candlelight proves men love to cook. But we definitely don’t like to clean. Not even our favorite girl… I mean grill. We actually prefer a dirty girl. Meanwhile, let GrillBot clean the clumps of burnt-on steak bits off of your grill grates while you get it on.
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Amazon Echo Dot
Yes, we know it’s odd that we’re recommending you give your guy a gift that answers to the name “Alexa”, and can do so many things you can’t, but it’s really a great little device that’ll make both of your lives easier. Before you give it to him, set reminders for next year’s Valentine’s Day so he doesn’t screw this up two years in a row.
