Photo: FOX
Renewed television is the latest sign of entertainment’s desperation, capitalizing on nostalgia by running it into the ground. Why do we love some of our older favorite shows from a decade or three ago? Because they transport us to better days, whereas these revived shows just bring our best memories and favorite hit TV shows and drop them right into our miserable world. We wish they could have just stayed dead, whether it’s because we don’t want them ruined, or we already hated them enough.
Now, we won’t spoil all the fun yet, but let’s just say all of these revived show are fairly recent TV rebirths, along with more on the way, including Rosanne, which is tough to imagine considering the way they left things with John Goodman. But what the hell, they brought back The Apprentice, a show we already despised because of its main character. Welcome to 2017, where no TV show is safe.
Note: We took it easy on Prison Break, since one of our own is an avid viewer, so don’t be mad when you see who we replaced it with at the end (sorry, David Lynch).
8 Revived Shows That Should Have Stayed Dead
For more regret, try: Infamous Hairstyles We Could Have Done Without in Our Already Difficult Lives
Revival Shows
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"Arrested Development"
Photo: Netflix
Three golden seasons of the under-appreciated Fox series led to a single-season reboot with Netflix, whose marketing alone built the show up into something it never was. The season delivered a strange arrangement of tepid episodes, causing a follow-up season to be difficult to lock down. They say it's scheduling but really, no one cares.
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"The Killing"
Photo: Netflix
Two of the best seasons of detective work surrounded finding out who killed Rosie Larsen with nothing but curveballs and red herrings with each episode. After two seasons, we found out the truth, which lead to two more seasons with Netflix reviving the show into random one-off cases. They weren't bad, just not nearly as good. Thanks, Linden and Holder, for the first two. That's 0 for 2, Netflix.
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"Full House"
Photo: Netflix
Make that 0 for 3, as Netflix brought our favorite household '90s show back to life, only they forgot to mention they were almost entirely leaving out the three main characters after its pilot, replacing them with millennials with an ABC family comedy vibe. We gotta have our Danny Tanner (even if we know he's a dirty fuck in his real-life standup).
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"Damages"
Photo: DirecTV
To see a show with Glenn Close and a sexy, aspiring young actress (Rose Byrne) get cancelled was shocking, considering how good it was. Of course, DirecTV resuscitated except without Ted Danson. No wonder it blew by comparison.
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"The Mindy Project"
Photo: Hulu
Take a not-so-funny show and give it the Hulu original stamp and what do you get? Pure unadulterated crap. This show was a winner to a lot of people, especially when they had to scramble to find a replacement in their lives for The Office, but even the early fans agree the show fell to shit when it got picked up by Hulu. The show will end after six season, thank the freaking lord.
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"Community"
Photo: Yahoo! Screen
Again, another show that was right to be cancelled somehow got re-green lit by...someone who's probably obsessed with Gillian Jacobs and Alison Brie's boobies? It's a good cast, but the show was always meh, and most of that we can probably thank Chevy Chase for.
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"The X-Files"
Photo: Fox
We love David Duchovny, but just like Californication, people need to know when to leave (on a high note, not a horrid low one). Where's the grainy quality and that '90s unpolished scripting at?
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"Twin Peaks"
Photo: Showtime
We heard David Lynch was bailing on directing, but now that new episodes with him in the chair are airing this year after more than 25 years off air, we'll get a good dose of what can only be assumed as an overhyped continuation that will leave us asking, "Why the hell are we still doing this?"
