Photo: Ollie Millington (Getty Images)
Mark your calendars. The opening weekend of Avengers: Endgame is shaping up to be the biggest event of the year and it’s only days away. As Marvel fans descend upon movie theaters like diabetics at a doughnut giveaway, the race is on to be among the first to witness the final chapter in MCU’s greatest saga, out April 25.
But slogging the long lines and big crowds isn’t easy. Neither is sitting through a three-hour movie while scarfing down a proper cinema picnic of popcorn, three hot dogs (one relish), an ice cream Snickers bar, Sour Patch Kids, half a sleeve of Red Vines, and a giant Dr. Pepper (plus, whatever you brought for the second hour).
Enter The Mandatory Avengers: Endgame Opening Weekend Starter Pack. It has everything you need for a stress-free moviegoing experience so you can sit back, relax, and let your fanboy freak-flag fly.
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Avengers Starter Pack
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A diaper.
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A jumbo popcorn (in case your diaper is full.)
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An entire box of Kleenex.
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Xanax.
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Your Captain America swag.
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A picture of your ex-girlfriend to remind yourself you made the right choice.
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One single condom.
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At least $1,200 cash in case you decide to get that chest tattoo of Thor’s face you always wanted.
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A notebook in case they stole any of your ideas from your comic book vlog.
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Your A-Game stunt moves.
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Your dad's phone number so you can get a ride home after.
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Be prepared for anything.