Britney Spears’ Strange Sandwich Tutorial Shows She Doesn’t Know Her Nuts (But At Least Nobody Is Taking Them From Her)

Is Britney Spears lonely? Bored? Desperate for attention? We don’t know. But we do know she’s been sharing a lot of videos on social media recently. And in her latest one, she sure does seem hungry.

In an Instagram post, the 39-year-old former pop star, dressed in a crop top and precariously low-cut jeans, attempted to recreate her favorite menu item from Schlotzsky’s, a sandwich chain she used to frequent in New York. Her go-to order was “literally God” to her.

“Fifteen years later, I’m still in search of a sandwich that tastes just like that. So this morning, I decided to get up and try to create a sandwich just like that for the summer,” she said in the 90-second grainy clip with an old-timey filter.

As Spears explains, her dream ‘wich consists of artisan ciabatta, avocado, lettuce, shredded chicken, turkey, goat cheese, “sheared pears,” and almonds.

It sounds delicious, but there’s just one problem: the nuts Spears awkwardly chops on camera aren’t almonds – they’re pecans. (To her credit, after fans called her out, she added “PS I meant pecans not almonds !!!!” to her caption.)

At the end of the video, Spears presents her masterpiece and cuts herself a small triangle. “A little goes a long way; you don’t need a huge sandwich for the summertime. Something kind of small and a little French will do it for me,” she says. “And voila! It’s a beautiful little sandwich.”

She was clearly proud of herself, as she captioned the video: “I did it guys …I recreated the meanest sandwich known to mankind !!!! Now where’s my trophy ????”

We’re happy that Spears is satisfied with her creation, but we won’t be running to a Britney Spears-owned-and-operated restaurant anytime soon. Her chopping skills alone are amateur enough to scare us off, and her misidentification of nuts gives us pause. (Anyone who’s tasted an almond and a pecan knows pecans are far superior.)

Stick to music, Britney, and leave the sandwich-making to the professionals.

Cover Photo: @britneyspears (Instagram)

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