Mandatory Tweets: The Weeknd Song Drops Major Hints He’s Hooking Up With Angelina Jolie (Do You Buy It?)

Get ready to add The Weeknd to the shortlist of dudes (and women) Angelina Jolie has called snookums. After the Canadian singer dropped a new record with the line “My new girl, she a movie star” on it, fans are getting some ideas.

But just like a massively clogged toilet, the rumors didn’t spring up overnight. Back in June, The Weeknd was spotted having dinner with Jolie before the pair got cozy at a Mustafa the Poet show two weeks later. Then the two grabbed a second dinner at the same restaurant, telling nosy waiters they were just close friends. (Uh-huh.)

Of course, seeing two celebrities in public during a pandemic can only mean one thing. But as of now, both camps have declined to comment. If the rumors are true, The Weeknd would be joining the hallowed ranks of Jonny Lee Miller, Jenny Shimizu, Billy Bob Thornton, and Brad Pitt. (Plus Angelina’s brother James… sort of.) All in all, more humans have walked on the moon than dated Angelina Jolie.

Check out the song below and see if you can solve the mystery:

(Wait, so is the old man makeup a nod to his new, more mature girlfriend?)

While the song leaves a lot to be desired, not least of all the truth about The Weeknd and Jolie’s relationship status, fans on Twitter are full chub, simultaneously swooning, grieving, raging, and wandering the streets in a state of distress. Yet despite the plump reaction, no one is surprised. Because ever since Kim Kardashian hooked up with Pete Davidson, can anything ever really surprise us again?

So The Weeknd is really dating Angelina Jolie huh . #DawnFM pic.twitter.com/X7gfmPZjGJ

— Rohan (@___ArtVandelay) January 7, 2022

*rumours that The Weeknd is dating Angelina Jolie*

?My new girl, she a movie star? pic.twitter.com/CAeiZZ7TBg

— ❤️‍?Fabi (@fabi_g6) January 7, 2022

https://twitter.com/fav1999/status/1479975928667246592

Me when #TheWeeknd said “ baby girl she a movie star” : Angelina jolie is that u !!! pic.twitter.com/gbRjdMsh1W

— ? (@fati88kili) January 7, 2022

“my new girl, she a movie star”

me: ang—angelina jolie? #DawnFM pic.twitter.com/cRsbjwwsN2

— ⁺¹ kris ?ྀིྀིྀིྀིྀི (@chaezcake) January 7, 2022

Angelina Jolie dating The Weeknd her p*ssy gotta be Lebron longevity level pic.twitter.com/mLRrCQaZqt

— Computer_coinsBrazy (@WALLA_MAJIC) January 8, 2022

I would just like to confirm for everyone wondering , no the Weeknd is not with my wife Angelina Jolie #TheDawn pic.twitter.com/ffoAdzC8Wb

— ? (@luminatingzu) January 7, 2022

https://twitter.com/laylamurphy__/status/1480604842494246914

https://twitter.com/ErynHuff/status/1479344847467302915

2021: Pete and Kim dating is weird.

2022: The Weeknd and Angelina Jolie. pic.twitter.com/2axFsursGY

— Garmonbozia (@oelkanimor) January 8, 2022

Cover Photo: Leon Bennett (Getty Images)