‘Scream 4’ – Review

Signing a non-disclosure agreement is a scary thing. Before they let us film critics into our screening of Scream 4, the first film from the hit franchise in over ten years, they made us sign a scary looking piece of paper that made us promise not to tell anybody anything of consequence, like the fact that SCREAM 4 IS A GOOD MOVIE. IT IS GOOD. YOU SHOULD ENJOY IT.

Uh… Okay.

Anyway, Scream 4 takes place about ten years after the events of Scream 3. Neve Campbell appears as Sidney Prescott, who in the last ten years has been DOING THINGS and returns to her hometown for the first stop on her THINGS. Sigh… As usual, grisly murder follows Sidney wherever she goes and yet another copycat of the original Scream murders rears their ghostly head. But the rules have changed. In the last ten years horror movies have turned away from the conventions of yore, thanks in large part to the popularity of this very franchise. Anyone can die, the killer’s probably going to use the internet somehow and remakes are all the rage. Well, at least I can say that. DON’T PUSH YOUR LUCK.

Geez… sorry. The strange fact is that the Scream franchise stopped being a horror series after Scream 2, when Neve Campbell’s part was diminished and the plot started focusing more on side characters Dewey (David Arquette) and Gail (Courtney Cox). It’s practically a soap opera now, with a slightly hokey romance taking center stage and all the actual murders – the reason this series exists in the first place – taking a back seat, even though technically there’s a bigger body count than ever. Will those two kooky kids, er… middle-aged adults ever figure out that they love each other? At the end of Scream 3 Dewey proposed marriage, and at the start of Scream 4 they ARE IN THE FILM. THAT IS ALL. Oh, come on! It’s in the first act! Can I talk about the teenaged cast at least? FINE. Okay then.

With the original cast members getting a little long in the tooth (for a slasher movie, at any rate) it falls to a hip new group of youngsters to keep Scream 4 relevant to its target audience. Nancy Drew’s Emma Roberts stars as Sidney’s cousin Jill, whose celebrity relative gets all the attention, and whose boyfriend Trevor bears eerie similarities to the murderous Skeet Ulrich from the first film. Heroes star Hayden Panettiere plays the sassy, short haired film enthusiast Kirby, who joins Rory Culkin and Erik Knudsen in the Jamie Kennedy roles of the movie geeks who understand the killer better than anybody. It seems odd that after three serial killers have used movies as their M.O. none of the original cast have subscribed to Fangoria. Once again they turn to TV-addled experts for answers but when the new rules are that there are no rules, the result is the most freewheeling Scream yet. The kills and surprises are many, if a little less-inspired than the first two films, but the nifty ending is WATCH IT, CRITIC BOY …nifty?

By the time Scream 4 ends you’ll notice that WE ARE APPROACHING YOUR HOUSE NOW oh crap! You’ll-notice-that-the-franchise-has-more-love-for-its-original-cast-than-any-of-the-newer-additions-COME OUT OF THE HOUSE, WE HAVE YOU SURROUNDED-oh-crap!-Fans-of-the-Scream-series-will-find-this- new-movie-a-worthy-edition-to-the-franchise-although-less-inspired-than-the-first-two-movies-DIMENSION FILMS HAS AUTHORIZED THE USE OF DEADLY FORCE-tell-my- girlfriend-I-love-her!-BAM! KAPOW! RATATATATATATATATA…!

Crave Online’s rating of 7.5 out of 10 is dedicated to the memory of beloved film critic William Bibbiani, who passed away this week from CAUSE OF DEATH UNKNOWN. His family has asked that all donations be made out to cash. 

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