With narcissism run amok and selfie culture reducing us to uncurious self-absorbed twerps constantly looking at our preening selves rather than the world around us, it’s a godsend that Coachella and Lollapalooza are among the growing number of music festivals to ban selfie sticks from the concert grounds.
Lollapalooza have announced their line in the sand with newly-outlawed “GoPro attachments like sticks, selfie sticks & monopods,” while Coachella gets a little more jabby with their condemnation of “selfie sticks / Narsisstics” in their FAQ section.
While selfies are annoying enough, selfie sticks take this obnoxious self-absorption to a whole new level. Obtrusive eyesores at best, they represent a level of inconsiderate self-indulgence at the expense of others’ line of vision. Worse yet, they’re often used to elevate the nonsensical game of casual videotapers who hold their phone up through hit-song performances to capture the same grainy, shaky video the ten thousand people next to them are attempting to record.
While Coachella and Lollapalooza have admirably led the charge in selfie stick prohibition, other major music festivals like Bonnaroo and Sasquatch have yet to add them to the banned-items list yet. However, enough visual obstructions will certainly create an air of hostility on hotter days crammed into tight quarters in the sunshine, and social Darwinism may just take care of the problem on its own.
Whatever the case, one should investigate the legal implications of crashing a drone into Drake’s face during his Coachella headlining set while livestreaming on that shitty meerkat thing. In the meantime, those unfortunate victims of late-night marketing genius might be able to manipulate their selfie stick for another purpose, with a little craftsmanship:
