As everyone who saw Star Wars: The Force Awakens last weekend knows – and statistically speaking, that’s definitely you – Kylo Ren is a new kind of Star Wars villain. He may have a familiar-looking helmet and robotized voice, but this isn’t a Dark Lord of the Sith who’s in control of his powers, or even his emotions. He’s obsessed with Darth Vader (who’s obviously just misunderstood), and prone to the kind of emotional spasms that only a teenager truly understands. And he only seems to have one friend, General Hux, who has his own weird and whiny obsessions.
So something like the new Twitter account “Emo Kylo Ren” (@KyloR3n) was probably inevitable, but even we’re surprised that it’s this good. Sure, it’s funny, but it’s starting to weave a subtle high school narrative that makes Kylo Ren and Hux seem like Slytherin kids who miraculously found each other. If you didn’t feel for the guy before, you might just love him now. Or at least get a couple of good chuckles at his expense.
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Let’s give you a quick crash course in everything emo, everything Kylo, and everything Ren. Here are the twenty best tweets to emerge from Emo Kylo Ren so far. Spoiler Warning: Some of these jokes only make sense if you’ve already seen the film, and could potentially give away a few of the movie’s twists.
*comes to school after a three-day weekend* my name isn’t Ben any more it’s KYLO REN and i’m a dark knight
— Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) December 21, 2015
it’s about ethics in Force journalism
— Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) December 22, 2015
*sighs* i wish i’d been born 60 years ago i guess i just have an old soul
— Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) December 22, 2015
*force-slams his bedroom door*
— Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) December 22, 2015
*applies black eyeliner* my parents don’t understand me and i hate them *applies black helmet*
— Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) December 22, 2015
the only person who could truly understand what i’m going through died on the second death star before i was even born
— Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) December 22, 2015
wookiee life day is a bullshit holiday
— Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) December 22, 2015
dear diary mom and dad still don’t believe that my name is kylo dad laughs whenever i say it nobody at school calls me kylo but hux
— Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) December 22, 2015
hux is all right but he likes wagner too much
— Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) December 22, 2015
i get all my winter clothes at Hoth Topic
— Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) December 22, 2015
you can’t truly appreciate the imperial march until you hear it on vinyl
— Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) December 22, 2015
*hands Rey a crossword* don’t worry if it takes a while Wednesday puzzles can be a bit challengi– *Rey hands back the completed puzzle*
— Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) December 22, 2015
holden caulfield knows what it means to commit to a bold choice of headgear and i respect that
— Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) December 22, 2015
dear diary i am taking grandfather’s helmet to school today to show to hux at lunch i expect he will be quite impressed
— Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) December 22, 2015
dear diary I told hux I did not think much of his name for our band he said I should go solo I told him never to mention that name again
— Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) December 22, 2015
mom please don’t even pretend you know what I’m going through right now also we are out of conditioner
— Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) December 22, 2015
dear diary at lunch hux read me part of this manifesto he’s been writing it really covered a lot of ground
— Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) December 22, 2015
Darth Vader had no father I envy him
— Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) December 22, 2015
dear diary hux brought the forbidden cups to our party and now i’m not speaking to him he knew where the line was pic.twitter.com/qSFbVmCLaZ
— Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) December 22, 2015
just once i wish my dad would respond to “I love you” with “I love you too” mom too for that matter
— Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) December 23, 2015
