#BlockLivesMatter (the hashtag is mandatory, apparently) is but one of quite a few games recently farted out onto Steam’s Greenlight platform, with it representing another small developerment studio looking to capitalize on that niche “I’ll buy this shitty game because it’ll probably offend strangers on the Internet” market.
The game places players in the role of a blue, gun-toting block and tasks you with mowing down hordes of black blocks. The destruction is shown from the perspective of a hovering “Box News” helicopter. Its developers Abandoned Ship list its “cultural sensitivity settings” as being on its key features on its Steam page, stating that they “allow the player to customize the game to their own comfort levels.” Inevitably, the game has now garnered much more traction than the majority of other terrible games that crawl their way through Greenlight.
I needn’t point out to you exactly what Abandoned Ship are getting at with its intentionally offensive concept, so instead I’ll provide a handy rundown of the events that will likely transpire now that the game has been announced.
- #BlockLivesMatter will become a minor trending topic, which will be permeated with unabashed racism. No one will mention that the game’s title was actually conjured up by tacky t-shirt website TShirtHell.com.
- Far-left gaming publications will report upon the problems posed by a game titled #BlockLivesMatter, granting it a disproportionate amount of coverage and essentially doing Abandoned Ship’s marketing for them.
- Far-right gaming publications will mock the “SJWs” in blog posts, interrupting their regular schedule of informing people how political agendas and video games do not mix, in order to celebrate this particular game specifically for its political agenda.
- The game will be the highest voted selection on this round of Greenlight, leading to it making its way to Steam. This doesn’t particularly matter because it’s Greenlight, so the games it beats will probably be similarly awful, only with titles that aren’t rallying cries for Twitter racists.
- A far-right gaming outlet will write a review of it in which they’re forced to skirt around the issue of it being shit, without actually directly saying that it’s shit.
- An unreasonable amount of people will buy it when it is released, with these individuals then also finding themselves unable to concede that it’s shit.
- The far-left gaming publications will no longer bother covering it because everyone’s now played it and has realized that it’s shit, thus minimizing the amount of traffic that can be generated from writing bloviated features about it.
- Everyone involved will have wasted their time and/or their money.
