In our annual tradition, we in the CraveOnline Industrial Party Labs have spent days constructing and designing the greatest Super Bowl Drinking Game the world has ever seen. This will help turn your lame ass party into the party of the year.
Please hear us in our special mom and dad voices – PLEASE BE SAFE AND KNOW WHEN TO SAY WHEN. And always have a designated driver. We care about you and want you to return to read more content. Seriously, a couple years ago a Radio Shack 80’s themed commercial nearly wiped out a cul-de-sac in Des Moines.
Now for the fun.
Pre-determine which levels you want to play:
Level 1
Friday Night Lights
Take a drink every time:
First Down.
Interception.
Passing play greater than 20 yards.
Running play greater than 10 yards.
A San Francisco landmark is shown.
City of Santa Clara is actually mentioned.
Any social media is mentioned by the announcers.
Cam Newton dabs
Cam Newton ‘points’ after a first down.
Cam Newton dabs or points to anyone in particular? Drink. (Photo by Grant Halverson/Getty Images)
Level 2
Saturday Game Day
Take a drink every time:
Pass Interference
Offsides
Touchdown
Camera shot of the trophy during the game.
Luke Olsen catches a ball in the middle of the field.
Eli Manning are mentioned.
Archie Manning is shown on TV
Steph Curry is shown (bonus: take two drinks if the announcers make an awkward transition from him to the teams playing)
Someone has trouble saying Luke Kuechly
A fan in full costume is shown in close-up.
Somebody does the “Superman” pose (shirt pull open move).
Peyton Manning scrambles (bonus if his age is mentioned – take 3 drinks).
It is mentioned that Gary Kubiak was a lifetime backup to John Elway.
Is Peyton Manning running for his life? Drink. (Photo by Sean M. Haffey/Getty Images)
Level 3
Any Given Sunday
Take a drink every time:
Punt.
Field Goal.
Sack.
A pass for 35 or more is completed.
Running play for less than 10 yards.
A kid is given a football (replays count) or is seen afterwards holding a football.
Every quarter the announcers don’t mention Cam’s “troubles” in college.
“America” or “USA” is said in broadcast or in a commercial.
“Omaha” is heard three times quickly.
CBS pimps a show by showing the celebrity in the crowd or the announcer awkwardly mentions.
Someone in your home walks in and asks “who is winning” or “what just happened”.
A trick play.
The owner is seen.
Peyton Manning is shown without a helmet but has a red forehead
Brock Osweiler is mentioned being replaced.
Bonus: If Brock is on the sideline looking sad then you have to finish your drink and get another.
Level 4
Pro Bowl
Take a drink every time:
A pass for less than 10 yards is completed.
Fumble.
Kick off .
A penalty flag is thrown.
A play is under review.
The weather is mentioned.
If you hear the song “Yellow” and your beer is yellow color. Penalty – if you don’t recognize the song and someone calls you on it then you have to finish your drink.
Announcers mention a lack of respect for Gary Kubiak or Ron Rivera.
Louis Vasquez’ latin heritage is discussed. Bonus – If anyone is drinking a Mexican beer doesn’t have to get their own drinks for the rest of the current drive.
The Seahawks or Patriots are mentioned.
Someone in the room says they hate Coldplay.
Demaryius Thomas or Ted Ginn, Jr. drop a pass.
Josh Norman mounts his invisible horse, Delta.
Bonus: Every time you see Peyton’s red forehead the last person in your room who slaps their own forehead has to finish their drink.)
Is Josh Norman screaming ‘giddy up!’? Drink. (Photo by Ezra Shaw/Getty Images)
Bonus Commercial Break Game
Endorsement Deals
Talking Animals – Everybody in your room takes turns each commercial break. They have to drink for every talking animal seen. Be forewarned… the live action Jungle Book trailer is coming. Baloo Bear is going to make one of you treat your liver like a birthday piñata.
Car Colors – Everyone in the room picks a color. When a car commercial comes on, whoever picked the color of the car in the commercial doles out 5 drinks to anyone in the room.
Celebrity Names – Whoever yells out the correct name of the celebrity in a commercial wins. The person to their direct left, takes 3 drinks. 5 drinks if the celebrity was famous in the 90’s. Movie trailers commercials don’t count.
Amy Schumer – Mindy Kaling will appear in a commercial. The last person in the room yell “Amy Schumer” OR yell “I have 3 buttholes” (yes that is a reference to her show) has to take 3 drinks.
Ryan Reynolds – The Deadpool man himself will show up once or twice, we know this beforehand. When it does, everyone takes turns (start with the oldest and go clockwise around room) and has to say a Van Wilder quote. First person to fail has to be the serving wench for the rest of the quarter. Do it every time.
Beer is Good – Whenever a beer commercial appears the first person to yell “Crave Online” (or “I Love Redd”) doles out 10 drinks in any combo to people in the room.
Puppies and Babies – Everyone splits up into two teams – puppies and babies. Count up the number of appearances of either. At the end of the game, the team that had the least amount of appearances has to drink the total number (define a max beforehand).
Drink responsibly.
Brian Reddoch is a CraveOnline reporter and rabid fan of all teams Seattle. You can follow him on Twitter @ReddReddoch or “like” CraveOnline Sports on Facebook.
Photo: Getty
