Photo: Williams+Hirakawa (Getty Images)
If you’re like us (or the 200 million other Americans who drink coffee on the reg), then you know exactly what it feels like before that first cup of joe raises you from the dead. The pre-coffee struggle affects just about every part of our body and mind in ways no decaf person could ever understand.
Next time your girlfriend, boss, parent, local officer, or other non-coffee drinkers (aka “weirdos”) raise an eyebrow at your strange morning behavior, shove this list into their face as you scream into the wind, “The struggle is real!” Here are 12 things you just can’t do before coffee (God’s nectar). Anything else is simply bitches brew.
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before coffee fails
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Obeying Basic Traffic Laws
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Smiling
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Building Stuff
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Crossing the Street
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Keeping Both Eyes Open
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Not Being An Asshole
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Making Smart Choices
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Relaxing (Without Falling Asleep)
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Playing Video Games Without Rage
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Hiding the Monster Inside You
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Dancing the Macarena (Thank God)
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Sticking the Landing