When it comes to air travel, there’s no time for horsing around…unless you happen to be traveling with an emotional support pony. Flirty is a mini service horse who made headlines last month while traveling on an American Airlines flight from Chicago. She raised eyebrows during her maiden voyage on a commercial jet and has consequently divided the nation as to the safety and sense of unorthodox service animals. With the Americans with Disability Act recently revising their language to include miniature ponies as lawful assistants, we say, why stop there? Here’s a list of other animals we think should be allowed to fly, no matter what other people (or common sense) has to say about it.
Photo: knape (Getty Images)
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emotional support pony
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Gorillas
Not only will these big guys carry your bags like a gentleman, they can double as bodyguard in the event that a thief or MMA enthusiast tries to start something. Dry cleaning and car washing trainability is currently being studied with promising results.
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Baby Crocodiles
Baby crocodiles stow perfectly beneath the seat in front of you and are easily trained to stylishly transport folks with mobility issues as well as other-dimensional supervillains.
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Vampire Bats
Perfect for hanging coats, hats, and towels, this poisonous cave-dweller provides an essential service on any flight where stowage capacity is an issue.
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Bees
Nothing spruces up bland airplane coffee or tea like a dose of fresh honey taken directly from your service beehive. Don't hesitate to sweeten up your life with a facially-fitted colony of your own.
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Tiger Cubs
Sturdy, hip-height tiger cubs are the perfect animal for supporting a human with sight or balance issues. Tigers can see up to six times better than humans at night and can easily spot prey moving under a jungle canopy.
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Anacondas
A service anaconda can help alleviate the pain of pesky goats and other excess livestock that may be causing you anxiety. And for passengers who weren't able to secure a window seat, a service anaconda can quickly open things up for you.
There are over 8.7 million species living on earth. It's time we moved past this dog and pony show by allowing all of gods creatures a shot in the service industry.
