Toilet paper. It’s never been on our minds as much as it is right now during the coronavirus pandemic. After surgical masks and hand sanitizer, TP was the next thing to fly off shelves, despite the fact that amassing Charmin Ultra Soft will do nothing to prevent or cure COVID-19. As panic shoppers raided stores big and small, people took to Twitter to air their grievances about the mysterious case of the disappearing toilet paper – and the people who stockpile it. Here are the 20 most hilarious hoarder tweets about toilet paper circulating on social media right now.
Cover Photo: Bob Scott (Getty Images)
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If you’re upset about regular folk hoarding toilet paper, wait till you hear about how a tiny percentage of rich people have hoarded most of the world’s wealth.
— Jason Reid (@JasonReidUK) March 11, 2020
If this toilet paper shortage continues I might be forced to subscribe to home delivery of The NY Times!
— Gov. Mike Huckabee (@GovMikeHuckabee) March 11, 2020
Doctors: wash your hands.
Americans: we need 600 rolls of toilet paper.
— Morgan Housel (@morganhousel) March 7, 2020
Joke’s on you. I don’t even USE toilet paper.
— Ḿå℟₭ (@markhoppus) March 10, 2020
Wegmans is limiting people to 2 packs of toilet paper per customer per day and i kid you not someone bought toilet paper then came back in 10 minutes later with a hat and sunglasses on and tried buying some more
— nick (@nick_lukasik) March 12, 2020
I have a 24 pack of toilet paper and a couple of containers of hand sanitizer— looking to swap for a 4 bedroom house on the beach.
— LORI HENDRY TEXT TRUMP TO 88022 (@Lrihendry) March 11, 2020
I was at Lidl and a customer tried to buy 144 rolls of toilet paper. The security guard took her outside and then we heard a gunshot a few minutes later but the cashier said it was unrelated
— Fiona (@foreverfion) March 13, 2020
i ate all my toilet paper now what
— blaine capatch (@blainecapatch) March 9, 2020
FYI: Lots of Costco stores have toilet paper again. In case you’re looking for something to wipe your China.
— Jesse Kelly (@JesseKellyDC) March 18, 2020
In this toilet paper stockpiling crisis, it should reassure you all to know when I went camping in 1987 I wiped my arse on a slice of bread and it totally worked.
— Sarah Kendall (@Sarah_Kendall) March 7, 2020
I actually need to buy a normal amount of toilet paper because I have run out of a normal amount of toilet paper. Thank you morons of Australia for making this simple task so hard#toiletpapergate
— Erin M (@pfinger18) March 3, 2020
Why are people stocking up on toilet paper do you just start violently shitting yourself when you contract the coronavirus or what am I missing
— Megan (@megan__coe) March 12, 2020
it’s easier to find true love than toilet paper right now
— Logan Paul (@LoganPaul) March 14, 2020
Just visited Asda. Saw a woman with a trolley full of hand sanitiser and toilet paper, I explained to her about the elderly and mums etc who need these.
She said: “that’s all good and well mate but I work here, can I carry on filling the shelves now?”— Anas (@Saka1410) March 16, 2020
I have some toilet paper if anyone needs any. It is used but only on one side. #thinkingofothers
— Louis Theroux (@louistheroux) March 16, 2020
I guess writers of dystopian fiction need to add a toilet paper sub plot
— Jennifer Gunter (@DrJenGunter) March 14, 2020
i have one roll of toilet paper left in my house and ive made it last a week. believe in urself
— emma (@emmachamberlain) March 15, 2020
We’re running out of toilet paper. Does anyone have a spare copy of Art of the Deal?
— Ken Olin (@kenolin1) March 15, 2020
Due to the toilet paper shortage, eating ass in 2020 has also been cancelled
— Niggaz Be WILIN (@NiggazWILIN) March 13, 2020
all that toilet paper you bought isn’t going to win her back
— Rob Perez (@WorldWideWob) March 11, 2020
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