If you have children or simply have a lot of free time, chances are your home is covered in Legos. These tiny little pieces of plastic may look benign enough to create cool shit, but they’re actually brightly-colored pieces of evil straight out of Satan’s workshop. People with small children have probably experienced the stupidly painful shock of stepping on a stray Lego barefoot, resulting in a scream that would make Chewbacca blush.
That might explain why one dad, so frustrated by his damn kids treating his house like a Lego wasteland, has decided to build a house big enough to live far away from his family.
“I love my family with all my heart and I’d do anything for them,” said the fed-up father. “But the pain of stepping on Jimmy’s legos at 3 a.m. after trying to find a quiet place to masturbate is the last straw!”
When asked what type of house the man intends to build and how he can afford to do so in such an expensive housing market, the man said he actually intends to build one out of Legos.
“I realize it might seem weird and counter-productive to escape a home full of foot-stabbing Legos only to move into one made out of them,” said the irate dad. “But unlike my lazy kids, I will make sure to use every one of these evil pieces of plastic to build my home. Not a single one will be left lying around the place for me to accidentally stab my foot in the middle of the night.”
Choosing to live far away from your family seems very rash. But avoiding the constant pain of stabbing your foot with a Lego is a pretty good justification. So we hardly fault the guy for wanting to do so.
Cover Photo: picture alliance / Contributor (Getty Images)
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