The Biden Administration has been looking at different ways to aid Ukraine with the Russian invasion. After using some of the traditional methods of providing weapons and funding, President Biden is looking for a more permanent solution. One that would be cheap and guaranteed to handle Vladimir Putin. Well, it looks like Biden might have an answer in Amber Turd.
“We’ve been closely watching the televised trial of Johnny Depp and Amber Heard,” said a National Security advisor. “Ms. Heard is quite the manipulative psycho and may just be the weapon we need to bring down Putin.”
But what exactly could the Biden administration have in mind? Are they going to have Amber insult Vladdy and his old dictator friends? Maybe drink a “mega pint” of Putin’s blood? The Biden team spoke a little bit further about their plans with involving the disgraced actress to bring down Putin. Bear in mind that the plan might not be for the faint of heart.
“We’ve watched pretty much all of the testimony and the thing that struck us most was Ms. Heard apparently taking a dump on Mr. Depp’s bed,” said the Biden advisor. “It might not be the most conventional method and we fear Putin might see it as an act of nuclear war, but we feel the best weapon to handle Mr. Putin is with Amber Turd.”
Indeed, every diplomatic avenue appears to have been worked to death. In order to spare the US taxpayers any further grief, the Biden administration appears ready and willing to deploy Amber Turd on Vladamir Putin. There’s been no official word on whether President Biden has been briefed on the Amber Turd strategy, but sources say he’s willing and open to exploring the smelly solution.
Let’s hope Putin hasn’t built an immunity to turds from disgraced actresses.
Cover Photo: JIM WATSON (Getty Images)
Entertainment News 5 1 22
-
Megan Fox Hitting Massive 420 Joint Doubles As Perfect Cover Art to Future MGK Porn Tape
Read more here.
Photo: Instagram
-
Johnny Depp Mistakes Court For Movie Set, Tells Cinematic Tale of Meeting Amber Heard (Someone Misses the Spotlight)
Read more here.
Photo: Getty Images
-
Johnny Depp Court Witness Paints Nudes of TV Stars, Yeah That Tracks With This Trial
Read more here.
Photo: Getty Images
-
Mandatory Tweets: The Funniest Twitter Reactions to Johnny Depp’s #MePoo Incident With #AmberTurd
Read more here.
Photos: Getty Images
-
Kim and Kanye Sex Tape Sequel Is Perfect Way to Kick Off Next 20 Years of ‘The Kardashians’ Family Misery
Read more here.
Photo: Getty Images
-
Ingenious Hollywood Remakes Starring Pete Davidson and Ye
Read more here.
Photos: NBC/Getty Images
-
Mark Wahlberg Keeps ‘Boogie Nights’ Prosthetic Penis in Special Place, Go Ahead Take a Guess
Read more here.
Photo: New Line Cinema
-
‘Russian Doll’ Season 2 Makes Perfect Case For ‘Groundhog Day’ Sequel
Read more here.
Photo: Netflix and Columbia Pictures
-
Stephen King Nuked Salmon Recipe Is Latest Horror Story Giving Us Nightmares
Read more here.
Photos: Getty Images
-
RANKED! The Best of Bruce Willis Movies (Thanks For All the Action Over the Years, Bruce!)
Read more here.
Photo: Universal Pictures
