Wipe that sweat off your brow, we made it through another week of madness. More and more people may be putting Twitter down to escape from the daily doom updates, and in doing so they could be missing out on some of the hilarious tweets that are still out there trying to make the world not seem so glum.
Thankfully you have us, and it’s Friday, which means it’s once again time for the funniest tweets of the week! If you were unfortunate to miss our last collection of tweets, not to worry. We’re here for you if you need us. Now, catch up on all the Twitter insanity here then be sure to follow us on Twitter @Mandatory.
Skip the endless scrolling and get right to the good stuff. Catch up on all the insane tweets you missed right here, right now.
-arriving in hell-
me: omg it’s you! i’m a huge fan of your eggs.
the devil:
— sam i am (@hisamwelch) August 13, 2022
Somebody with yo ex right now thinking they found the one
— toxic king (@777jorgeivan) August 14, 2022
seeing ur relationships inspire us to be single
— Xavier (@xavierofficials) August 14, 2022
My ex: “I want u back”
Me: “the gang said no”
— FOREVER WILIN (@ForeverWILlN_) August 14, 2022
Overheard in Manhattan, middle-aged man on a bicycle wearing a tight cycling onesie: I think in my struggle to improve myself, I made myself much worse
— Emily Gaudette (@emilygmonster) August 13, 2022
i don’t trust anyone who had a good high school experience
— dream gurl (@arlizle) August 13, 2022
michael jordan’s parents really named him after a shoe
— navi (@prettyboynavi) August 14, 2022
“how do you know them” bro we go to the same social media
— (@TrippyRaven) August 14, 2022
If I ask “how long you in town” just enjoy your trip
— DIGITAL DASH (@_Gdash) August 13, 2022
I hate a mf who can’t kill a bug right
— @SLAYBYELLA_ (@ella_thereal) August 15, 2022
Babe are you okay? You’ve barely manipulated me today
— Joe (@joeIovesbees) August 14, 2022
fucked around n wasted all my sick days now i gotta call in dead
— Zar ✰ (@Zarinacar) August 15, 2022
“did u eat today” yeah gum
— jay (@jaredisnumb) August 16, 2022
i love asking “are u dumb?” in arguments. it just adds a lil razzle dazzle
— jas (@jjasshole) August 15, 2022
“you changed” bro i was 15
— juju (@ayeejuju) August 15, 2022
((horizontal on the couch watching a cooking show after 3 nights of having cereal for dinner)) i can’t believe he’d cook the lamb like that
— Sydney Battle (@SydneyBattle) August 15, 2022
everything i want is either iIIegal, too expensive, too far or doesn’t text back
— yessir (@priinnyvert) August 14, 2022
wish the earth was flat so i could jump off the edge
— Pain Be WILIN (@PainBeWILIN) August 14, 2022
