Oh hey, look… 2013 is ending. Man, what a year that was. Hundreds of movies were watched, not even remotely all of them in fact, so now that it’s over we can just kick back and relax because all the hard work is done. Or, since we live in a little place called reality, we can up socks and get right on chugging into the smoky tunnel of 2014, which promises to be yet another bumpy ride of massive blockbusters, long-awaited corporate attempts at fan-service, art house trendsetters, a few unexpected mindblowers and – doubtlessly – some enormous train wrecks. It sounds a lot like 2013 already. Come to think of it, it sounds a lot like 2012 and 2011 and 2010 and 2009 and so on and so forth but whatever, we’re gluttons for punishment. Bring it on, 2014! We’re going to eagerly anticipate you anyway, because a lot of your movies look like they have the potential to be awesome.
So many, in fact, that we didn’t even have room for a lot of films that we hope will be awesome, like Muppets Most Wanted (Mar. 21), acclaimed director of photography Wally Pfister’s directorial debut Transcendence (Apr. 18), Seth MacFarlane’s Ted follow-up A Million Ways to Die in the West (May 30), Tom Cruise’s time-travelling intergalactic war epic Edge of Tomorrow (June 6), Robert Rodriguez’s long-awaited Sin City: A Dame to Kill For (Aug. 22), Eli Roth’s ultraviolent cannibal thriller The Green Inferno (Sept. 5), or David Fincher’s adaptation of the bestselling mystery novel Gone Girl (Oct. 3).
Nope, those are the also-rans in 2014. Here’s what we REALLY want to see at CraveOnline , our 14 Most Anticipated Movies of 2014 . (Note: Release dates subject to change.)
William Bibbiani is the editor of CraveOnline’s Film Channel and co-host of The B-Movies Podcast . Follow him on Twitter at @WilliamBibbiani .
The 14 Most Anticipated Movies of 2014
14. Veronica Mars (Mar. 14)
We begged, we pleaded, we shelled out the cash ourselves. The cult hit TV series Veronica Mars finally comes to theaters in 2014, and it probably won't set the box office afire, but all us Marshmallows will rally around it anyway, hoping for the best, or at least for a TV spin-off as decent as Serenity .
13. Step Up: All In (Jul. 25)
We will never apologize for our unabashed love of the sincere, and sincerely crazy dance franchise Step Up . After installments involving dance-fighting samurai, secret identities and taking down corporate America through the power of popping and/or locking the fifth in the series, Step Up: All In , promises an all-star cast culled from the entire series, all competing for glory in Las Vegas. The Moose is (once again) loose, and we wouldn't have it any other way.
12. Big Hero 6 (Nov. 7)
We're still waiting for a proper preview of Big Hero 6 , Disney Animation's first attempt at a superhero movie, based on their now-extensive catalogue of Marvel Superheroes. The film is about a team of Japanese superheroes, and it could be awesome, and it could be a trainwreck, but either way it's potentially a big gamechanger for Disney's animated efforts that, if successful, could encourage more unusual creative directions for their animated movies in the future.
11. Need for Speed (Mar. 14)
It seemed like just another video game movie until we finally saw that trailer, which made Aaron Paul look like a badass ("Fuck yeah, car chases!"), and the action look straight out of the Fast & Furious franchise. We don't expect the Citizen Game of video game adaptations, but with Need for Speed we just might finally have a film that fans of the genre don't have to be ashamed of.
10. Godzilla (May 16)
Will the latest attempt to transplant Japan's parable for American nuclear attacks on Hiroshima and Nagasaki to America itself actually work now that the U.S.A. feels victimized post-9/11? If nothing else, it's gotta be better than the Roland Emmerich movie, but we're betting indie filmmaker Gareth Edwards, making his blockbuster debut after the low-budget Monsters , has some tricks up his sleeve to make Godzilla feel potent today. And if nothing else, it's still a giant monster movie. Can't go too wrong with those.
9. Noah (Mar. 28)
Darren Aronofsky takes a break from exploring the depths of insanity to direct... a biblical epic the likes of which we haven't seen in decades? Well, that's certainly interesting. Russell Crowe stars as the ark-building title rebel, who has to fight against naysayers who refuse to believe that the apocalypse is coming. It sounds like a potentially challenging film, although we still think it's too soon to remake Evan Almighty .
8. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Aug. 8)
Michael Bay is producing this big-budget reboot of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles , so it's either going to suck spectacularly hard or just be merely alright. We're not going to lie, we don't expect much from this CGI retread of characters who were never supposed to be taken too seriously in the first place, but it will be fascinating to see how pizza-eating Testudines with a proclivity for martial arts translate into the modern world of grim 'n' gritty comic book adaptations.
7. Jupiter Ascending (Jul. 18)
Mila Kunis is a naive earth girl with the DNA necessary to topple an intergalactic queen. Channing Tatum has elf ears and way too much eyeshadow. Wachowski Starship continues to wow us with their visual wonders, but can they make what appears to be a rather goofy story with a ridiculously enormous budget fly with the audiences who stayed away from the brilliant Cloud Atlas in droves? We can't wait to find out.
6. Dracula Untold (Oct. 17)
Universal seems to have finally realized that they have their own mega-franchise already in place, and it's been there since the 1930s. Dracula Untold (not pictured) stars Luke Evans as the title nosferatu, and promises to be a sweeping origin story of the world's most famous vampire, and the potential starting point for a new monster-centric franchise that could - if handled correctly - rival Marvel and Warner Bros.' stable of beloved pop culture icons. It all depends on how well this turns out, so hope for the best.
5. The Grand Budapest Hotel (Mar. 7)
Any time Wes Anderson makes a movie it's cause for a minor celebration. Nothing fancy, just break out some Capri Suns and the old Victrola. His latest stars Ralph Fiennes as the concierge at a long-running hotel that houses an awful lot of unusual characters through the years, wars and strife that befalls the world around it. It looks quirky as fuck. We can't wait!
4. Jane Got a Gun (Aug. 29)
One of the most famously troubled productions in recent memory, the western Jane Got a Gun lost multiple stars and even its original director right at the start of filming, replacing the brilliant Lynne Ramsay (We Need to Talk About Kevin ) with the pretty darned excellent Gavin O'Connor (Warrior ). But can an acclaimed screenplay straight off The Black List and a still impressive cast, consisting of Natalie Portman, Joel Edgerton and Ewan McGregor make us forget about all those trials and tribulations? We'll find out when Jane (finally) gets her gun in August.
3. All the Sequels (Various)
The days when we dismiss the idea of a "good sequel" out of hand are gone, because 2014 promises a lot of promises follow-ups to hit franchises: Captain America fights SHIELD corruption and an old-friend-turned-arch-nemesis Captain America: The Winter Soldier (Apr. 4), Spider-Man returns with a metric ton of new villains in the redesigned The Amazing Spider-Man 2 (May 2), the X-Men travel through time to stop a giant robot apocalypse in X-Men: Days of Future Past (May 23), the Dinobots finally come to the big screen in Transformers: Age of Extinction (Jun. 27), ape finally begin taking over the planet in earnest in Dawn of the Planet of the Apes (Jul. 11), and Sylvester Stallone's all-star Expendables face their greatest threat yet - we assume - in The Expendables 3 (Aug. 14). Bring it on!
2. Interstellar (Nov. 7)
Christopher Nolan directed Memento , Batman Begins , The Prestige , The Dark Knight , Inception and The Dark Knight Rises . His next film stars Matthew McConaughey at the height of his career, and it's about wormholes. Buy your tickets now.
1. Guardians of the Galaxy (Aug. 1)
Marvel Studios is taking a huge chance with Guardians of the Galaxy , its most obscure adaptation to date, starring an ensemble cast of character actors and big-name stars pretending to be trees (Vin Diesel) and raccoons (Bradley Cooper). It's a return to a sweeping sci-fi genre that has never been popular without the words "Star" and "Wars" in the title. It's directed by the writer of Tromeo & Juliet . This is the studio's biggest gamble of all, and we suspect it's going to pay off, but we won't know until August 1. It's going to be a long, long wait.