March Madness 2014: Mascot Melee

Sure Kansas could beat New Mexico on the court but the Jayhawks would die horribly if faced against a Lobo.

Let’s play it out.

In the East, there is some weirdly one-sided affairs with a couple of chicken things. 

The Chanticleers lose to the Cavaliers and the Blue Hens shouldn’t have showed up against the Spartans… In between, the Cincy Bearcats beat the color Crimson… The Cavaliers use a combo of guns and sword to take out the ancient Spartan… A Tar Heel is not much more than a part of a foot… Almost any other mascot could have beaten the peace-loving Friars. It doesn’t really matter since no mascot in the bottom half would have had a chance against the Cyclones. The only one who could beat the Cyclone are the Cavaliers, who are smart enough to seek shelter.

In the West, there is another boring mascot matchup of two wildcats. This time Arizona versus Weber State. Arizona’s Wildcats walkthrough past a dumb Pistol Pete Cowboy. The real-life Sooners moved across after the plains after the Bison were killed off. Not so lucky this time… In the bottom half, the scrappy Badgers could sneak past an Eagle but would lose to the BYU Cougars. The Bears of Baylor get a lucky draw and walk thru the bracket with greater ease than UCLA or Mercer Bears faced…. In the end, the Aztecs fearsome warriors defeat a Wildcat and a Bear… then sacrifice them to prepare for the Final Four.

In the end, the genteel nature and gentlemanly ways of the Cavalier is too passive for the berserker nature of the Aztec warrior who becomes the improbable winner of Mascot March Madness.

Brian Reddoch is a CraveOnline reporter and rabid fan of all teams Seattle. You can follow him on Twitter @ReddReddoch or “like” CraveOnline Sports on Facebook

Photo Credit: Getty

 

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